Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
I did not pursue the subject further, beyond saying that I should feel
glad when the autumn came, and Lupin would be of age and responsible for
his own debts. He answered: “My dear Guv., I promise you faithfully that
I will never speculate with what I have not got. I shall only go on Job
Cleanands’ tips, and as he is in the ‘know’ it is pretty safe sailing.”
I felt somewhat relieved. Gowing called in the evening and, to my
surprise, informed me that, as he had made £10 by one of Lupin’s tips, he
intended asking us and the Cummings round next Saturday. Carrie and I
said we should be delighted.
JANUARY 22.—I don’t generally lose my temper with servants; but I had to
speak to Sarah rather sharply about a careless habit she has recently
contracted of shaking the table-cloth, after removing the breakfast
things, in a manner which causes all the crumbs to fall on the carpet,
eventually to be trodden in. Sarah answered very rudely: “Oh, you are
always complaining.” I replied: “Indeed, I am not. I spoke to you last
week about walking all over the drawing-room carpet with a piece of
yellow soap on the heel of your boot.” She said: “And you’re always
grumbling about your breakfast.” I said: “No, I am not; but I feel
perfectly justified in complaining that I never can get a hard-boiled
egg. The moment I crack the shell it spurts all over the plate, and I
have spoken to you at least fifty times about it.” She began to cry and
make a scene; but fortunately my ’bus came by, so I had a good excuse for
leaving her. Gowing left a message in the evening, that we were not to
forget next Saturday. Carrie amusingly said: “As he has never asked any
friends before, we are not likely to forget it.”
JANUARY 23.—I asked Lupin to try and change the hard brushes, he recently
made me a present of, for some softer ones, as my hair-dresser tells me I
ought not to brush my hair too much just now.
JANUARY 24.—The new chimney-glass came home for the back drawing-room.
Carrie arranged some fans very prettily on the top and on each side. It
is an immense improvement to the room.
JANUARY 25.—We had just finished our tea, when who should come in but
Cummings, who has not been here for over three weeks. I noticed that he
looked anything but well, so I said: “Well, Cummings, how are you? You
look a little blue.” He replied: “Yes! and I feel blue too.” I said:
“Why, what’s the matter?” He said: “Oh, nothing, except that I have been
on my back for a couple of weeks, that’s all. At one time my doctor
nearly gave me up, yet not a soul has come near me. No one has even
taken the trouble to inquire whether I was alive or dead.”
I said: “This is the first I have heard of it. I have passed your house
several nights, and presumed you had company, as the rooms were so
brilliantly lighted.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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