Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
I gave a sigh of relief. I said: “I was not so sanguine as to suppose,
as you predicted, that I should get six or eight times the amount of my
investment; still a profit of £2 is a good percentage for such a short
time.” Lupin said, quite irritably: “You don’t understand. I sold your
£20 shares for £2; you therefore lose £18 on the transaction, whereby
Cummings and Gowing will lose the whole of theirs.”
FEBRUARY 19.—Lupin, before going to town, said: “I am very sorry about
those Parachikka Chlorates; it would not have happened if the boss, Job
Cleanands, had been in town. Between ourselves, you must not be
surprised if something goes wrong at our office. Job Cleanands has not
been seen the last few days, and it strikes me several people _do_ want
to see him very particularly.”
In the evening Lupin was just on the point of going out to avoid a
collision with Gowing and Cummings, when the former entered the room,
without knocking, but with his usual trick of saying, “May I come in?”
He entered, and to the surprise of Lupin and myself, seemed to be in the
very best of spirits. Neither Lupin nor I broached the subject to him,
but he did so of his own accord. He said: “I say, those Parachikka
Chlorates have gone an awful smash! You’re a nice one, Master Lupin.
How much do you lose?” Lupin, to my utter astonishment, said: “Oh! I
had nothing in them. There was some informality in my application—I
forgot to enclose the cheque or something, and I didn’t get any. The
Guv. loses £18.” I said: “I quite understood you were in it, or nothing
would have induced me to speculate.” Lupin replied: “Well, it can’t be
helped; you must go double on the next tip.” Before I could reply,
Gowing said: “Well, I lose nothing, fortunately. From what I heard, I
did not quite believe in them, so I persuaded Cummings to take my £15
worth, as he had more faith in them than I had.”
Lupin burst out laughing, and, in the most unseemly manner, said: “Alas,
poor Cummings. He’ll lose £35.” At that moment there was a ring at the
bell. Lupin said: “I don’t want to meet Cummings.” If he had gone out
of the door he would have met him in the passage, so as quickly as
possible Lupin opened the parlour window and got out. Gowing jumped up
suddenly, exclaiming: “I don’t want to see him either!” and, before I
could say a word, he followed Lupin out of the window.
For my own part, I was horrified to think my own son and one of my most
intimate friends should depart from the house like a couple of
interrupted burglars. Poor Cummings was very upset, and of course was
naturally very angry both with Lupin and Gowing. I pressed him to have a
little whisky, and he replied that he had given up whisky; but would like
a little “Unsweetened,” as he was advised it was the most healthy spirit.
I had none in the house, but sent Sarah round to Lockwood’s for some.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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