Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
APRIL 9.—Gowing called, bringing with him an invitation for Carrie and
myself to a ball given by the East Acton Rifle Brigade, which he thought
would be a swell affair, as the member for East Acton (Sir William Grime)
had promised his patronage. We accepted of his kindness, and he stayed
to supper, an occasion I thought suitable for trying a bottle of the
sparkling Algéra that Mr. James (of Sutton) had sent as a present.
Gowing sipped the wine, observing that he had never tasted it before, and
further remarked that his policy was to stick to more recognised brands.
I told him it was a present from a dear friend, and one mustn’t look a
gift-horse in the mouth. Gowing facetiously replied: “And he didn’t like
putting it in the mouth either.”
I thought the remarks were rude without being funny, but on tasting it
myself, came to the conclusion there was some justification for them.
The sparkling Algéra is very like cider, only more sour. I suggested
that perhaps the thunder had turned it a bit acid. He merely replied:
“Oh! I don’t think so.” We had a very pleasant game of cards, though I
lost four shillings and Carrie lost one, and Gowing said he had lost
about sixpence: how he could have lost, considering that Carrie and I
were the only other players, remains a mystery.
APRIL 14, Sunday.—Owing, I presume, to the unsettled weather, I awoke
with a feeling that my skin was drawn over my face as tight as a drum.
Walking round the garden with Mr. and Mrs. Treane, members of our
congregation who had walked back with us, I was much annoyed to find a
large newspaper full of bones on the gravel-path, evidently thrown over
by those young Griffin boys next door; who, whenever we have friends,
climb up the empty steps inside their conservatory, tap at the windows,
making faces, whistling, and imitating birds.
APRIL 15.—Burnt my tongue most awfully with the Worcester sauce, through
that stupid girl Sarah shaking the bottle violently before putting it on
the table.
APRIL 16.—The night of the East Acton Volunteer Ball. On my advice,
Carrie put on the same dress that she looked so beautiful in at the
Mansion House, for it had occurred to me, being a military ball, that Mr.
Perkupp, who, I believe, is an officer in the Honorary Artillery Company,
would in all probability be present. Lupin, in his usual
incomprehensible language, remarked that he had heard it was a “bounders’
ball.” I didn’t ask him what he meant though I didn’t understand. Where
he gets these expressions from I don’t know; he certainly doesn’t learn
them at home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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