Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
There was also a large picture in a very handsome frame, done in coloured
crayons. It looked like a religious subject. I was very much struck
with the lace collar, it looked so real, but I unfortunately made the
remark that there was something about the expression of the face that was
not quite pleasing. It looked pinched. Mr. Finsworth sorrowfully
replied: “Yes, the face was done after death—my wife’s sister.”
I felt terribly awkward and bowed apologetically, and in a whisper said I
hoped I had not hurt his feelings. We both stood looking at the picture
for a few minutes in silence, when Mr. Finsworth took out a handkerchief
and said: “She was sitting in our garden last summer,” and blew his nose
violently. He seemed quite affected, so I turned to look at something
else and stood in front of a portrait of a jolly-looking middle-aged
gentleman, with a red face and straw hat. I said to Mr. Finsworth: “Who
is this jovial-looking gentleman? Life doesn’t seem to trouble him
much.” Mr. Finsworth said: “No, it doesn’t. _He is dead too_—my
brother.”
I was absolutely horrified at my own awkwardness. Fortunately at this
moment Carrie entered with Mrs. Finsworth, who had taken her upstairs to
take off her bonnet and brush her skirt. Teddy said: “Short is late,”
but at that moment the gentleman referred to arrived, and I was
introduced to him by Teddy, who said: “Do you know Mr. Short?” I
replied, smiling, that I had not that pleasure, but I hoped it would not
be long before I knew Mr. _Short_. He evidently did not see my little
joke, although I repeated it twice with a little laugh. I suddenly
remembered it was Sunday, and Mr. Short was perhaps _very particular_.
In this I was mistaken, for he was not at all particular in several of
his remarks after dinner. In fact I was so ashamed of one of his
observations that I took the opportunity to say to Mrs. Finsworth that I
feared she found Mr. Short occasionally a little embarrassing. To my
surprise she said: “Oh! he is privileged you know.” I did not know as a
matter of fact, and so I bowed apologetically. I fail to see why Mr.
Short should be privileged.
Another thing that annoyed me at dinner was that the collie dog, which
jumped up at Carrie, was allowed to remain under the dining-room table.
It kept growling and snapping at my boots every time I moved my foot.
Feeling nervous rather, I spoke to Mrs. Finsworth about the animal, and
she remarked: “It is only his play.” She jumped up and let in a
frightfully ugly-looking spaniel called Bibbs, which had been scratching
at the door. This dog also seemed to take a fancy to my boots, and I
discovered afterwards that it had licked off every bit of blacking from
them. I was positively ashamed of being seen in them. Mrs. Finsworth,
who, I must say, is not much of a Job’s comforter, said: “Oh! we are used
to Bibbs doing that to our visitors.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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