Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
APRIL 20.—Carrie reminded me that as her old school friend, Annie Fullers
(now Mrs. James), and her husband had come up from Sutton for a few days,
it would look kind to take them to the theatre, and would I drop a line
to Mr. Merton asking him for passes for four, either for the Italian
Opera, Haymarket, Savoy, or Lyceum. I wrote Merton to that effect.
APRIL 21.—Got a reply from Merton, saying he was very busy, and just at
present couldn’t manage passes for the Italian Opera, Haymarket, Savoy,
or Lyceum, but the best thing going on in London was the _Brown Bushes_,
at the Tank Theatre, Islington, and enclosed seats for four; also bill
for whisky.
APRIL 23.—Mr. and Mrs. James (Miss Fullers that was) came to meat tea,
and we left directly after for the Tank Theatre. We got a ’bus that took
us to King’s Cross, and then changed into one that took us to the
“Angel.” Mr. James each time insisted on paying for all, saying that I
had paid for the tickets and that was quite enough.
We arrived at theatre, where, curiously enough, all our ’bus-load except
an old woman with a basket seemed to be going in. I walked ahead and
presented the tickets. The man looked at them, and called out: “Mr.
Willowly! do you know anything about these?” holding up my tickets. The
gentleman called to, came up and examined my tickets, and said: “Who gave
you these?” I said, rather indignantly: “Mr. Merton, of course.” He
said: “Merton? Who’s he?” I answered, rather sharply: “You ought to
know, his name’s good at any theatre in London.” He replied: “Oh! is it?
Well, it ain’t no good here. These tickets, which are not dated, were
issued under Mr. Swinstead’s management, which has since changed hands.”
While I was having some very unpleasant words with the man, James, who
had gone upstairs with the ladies, called out: “Come on!” I went up
after them, and a very civil attendant said: “This way, please, box H.”
I said to James: “Why, how on earth did you manage it?” and to my horror
he replied: “Why, paid for it of course.”
This was humiliating enough, and I could scarcely follow the play, but I
was doomed to still further humiliation. I was leaning out of the box,
when my tie—a little black bow which fastened on to the stud by means of
a new patent—fell into the pit below. A clumsy man not noticing it, had
his foot on it for ever so long before he discovered it. He then picked
it up and eventually flung it under the next seat in disgust. What with
the box incident and the tie, I felt quite miserable. Mr. James, of
Sutton, was very good. He said: “Don’t worry—no one will notice it with
your beard. That is the only advantage of growing one that I can see.”
There was no occasion for that remark, for Carrie is very proud of my
beard.
To hide the absence of the tie I had to keep my chin down the rest of the
evening, which caused a pain at the back of my neck.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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