Such matters as courtship and engagements are quite different among
the agricultural and tribal people, where the girls and boys work
together in the fields, in the gardens and pastures, and thus pass
their early years in each other's society; their marriage in later
years is generally the outcome of natural affection, first awakened by
that companionship. But even in the towns it is sometimes possible for
a man to make the acquaintance of a woman before marrying her. This
is done by the betrothed pair arranging a secret interview, which, it
is said, is usually brought about with the kind assistance of old and
trusted servants. Curiously enough, the professional marriage-broker
is sometimes reported to be the person who arranges this private
interview; but one thing is absolutely certain, namely, that unless
she is handsomely tipped, it is to her own advantage to stick strictly
to the good old custom.
The wedding of a young couple itself, like their betrothal, takes place
in an indirect manner. They are married in a house privately, in the
presence of persons closely related to them. They do not go to any
place of worship. As I pointed out before, the houses in Turkey are
divided into two parts, one reserved for the male, the other for the
female members of the household, and there is a long passage between
the two. On the wedding-day the ladies fill up the passage, having in
front of them the bride, while all the gentlemen present go to the room
in the men's department which opens on to the passage, the prominent
figure among them being the bridegroom. The door between the passage
and the room is closed, and the most profound silence must prevail
both in the passage and the adjacent room. Among the gentlemen, the
father of the bride, or, failing him, any elderly man under whose
guardianship or protection she may be, gets up, knocks at the door,
and most solemnly and impressively asks this question, "My daughter!
we are about to marry you to Mr. So-and-so, in accordance with the
will of Almighty God and the ordinances of the Prophet. Will you marry
him?" She gives no answer. The old man repeats the question; still she
does not utter a single syllable. He asks again in a wearied manner,
and this time the question is followed by a sound of sobbing inside the
passage. Whether the reason of this weeping be the pressure put upon
the shy and inexperienced girl in that impressive moment, or whether
it be the pinches she receives from that termagant, the professional
marriage-broker, and from her mischievous girl-friends who urge her to
speak out, I cannot tell.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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