The Diary of a U-boat Commander: With an Introduction and Explanatory Notes by EtienneKing-Hall, Stephen, Sir
History
The Diary of a U-boat Commander: With an Introduction and Explanatory Notes by Etienne
King-Hall, Stephen, Sir
Sea stories; Submarines (Ships) -- Fiction; War stories; World War, 1914-1918 -- Germany -- Fiction
It was ideal. An outcrop of rock formed a miniature Matterhorn in the
forest, and beneath its shelter with the old trees as silent witnesses
we sat and joked and laughed, and made twenty attempts to light a fire.
After lunch, a little incident happened which had an enormous effect on
me; Zoe asked me whether I would mind if she smoked.
How many women in these days would think of doing that? And yet, had
she but known it, I am still sufficiently old-fashioned to appreciate
the implied respect for any possible prejudices which was contained in
her request.
After lunch, I asked her a question to which I dreaded the answer.
I asked her whether, now that the old Colonel had gone to the Somme,
whether that meant that she would be leaving Bruges.
She laughed and teasingly said: "Quien sabe, señor," but seeing my real
anxiety on this point, she assured me that she was not leaving for the
present. The Colonel, she said, had a strange belief that once a man
had served on the Flanders Front, and especially on the Ypres salient,
he always came back to die there.
It appears that the Colonel has done fourteen months' service on the
salient alone, and is firmly convinced he will end his career on that
great burial ground. As we were talking about the Colonel I longed to
ask her how she had met him, and perhaps find out why she lives with
him, for I cannot believe she loves him, but I did not dare.
Strangely enough I found that a curious shyness had taken hold of me
with regard to Zoe.
I said to myself, "Fool! you are alone with her, you long to kiss her;
you have kissed her, first at the dinner-party, secondly when you said
good-bye at her flat," and yet to-day it was different.
Then I was kissing a pretty woman, I was on the eve of a dangerous
life, and I was simply extracting the animal pleasures whilst I lived.
To-day it was a case of Zoe, the personality I loved; I still longed to
kiss her, but I wanted to have the unquestioned right to kiss her, as
much as I wanted the kisses.
I wanted to have her for my own, away from the contaminating ownership
of the old Colonel, and I determined to get her.
I think she noticed the changed attitude on my part, and perhaps she
felt herself that a subtle change in our relationship had taken place,
and whilst I meditated on these things she fell into a doze at my side.
I was sitting slightly above her, smoking to keep the midges away, and
as I looked down on her childish figure a great tenderness for her
filled my mind. She is very beautiful and to me desirable above all
women; I can see her as she lay there trustfully at my feet. I will
describe her, and then, when I get her photograph, I will read this
when I am far away on a trip.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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