My first recollections are of the city of Clermont-Ferrand, and of a
house which stood on a promenade now very much changed by the recent
construction of the artillery school. The house, like all the houses in
this city, was built of Volvic stone, a gray stone which darkens with
age, and which gives to the tortuous streets the appearance of a city
of the middle ages.
My father, who died when I was very young, was of Lorraine extraction.
He held at Clermont the position of engineer of roads and bridges.
He was a slender man of feeble health, with a face almost beardless,
and marked with a melancholy serenity which touched me, when I think
of him, after all these years. I see him again in his study, through
whose windows may be viewed the immense plain of the Limagne, with the
graceful eminence of the Puy de Crouël quite near, and in the distance
the dark line of the mountains of Forez.
The railway station was near our house, and the whistling of the
trains was constantly heard in this quiet study. I used to sit on the
carpet in the corner by the fire, playing without making any noise, and
this strident call produced on my mind a strange impression of mystery,
of distance, of the flight of time, and of life which endures to the
present.
My father traced with his chalk upon a blackboard enigmatic signs,
geometric figures or algebraic formulas, with that clearness of the
curves, or the letters which revealed the habitual method of his
being. At other times he wrote, standing at an architect’s table which
he preferred to his desk, a table consisting simply of a white wood
board placed on trestles. The large books on mathematics arranged with
the most minute care in the bookcase, and the cold faces of savants,
engraved in copperplate and framed under glass, were the only objects
of art with which the walls were decorated.
The clock which represented the globe of the world, two astronomical
maps which hung above the desk, and upon this desk the calculating
ruler with its figures and its copper slide, the square, the compass,
the T rule. I recall them all, at will, the smallest details of this
room whose whole atmosphere was thought, and these images aid me
to comprehend how from my infancy the dream of a purely ideal and
contemplative existence became elaborated in me, favored by heredity.
My later reflections have shown me, in several traits of my character,
the result transmitted under form of instinct of the life of abstract
study that my father led. I have, for example, always felt a singular
horror of action, so much so that, making a simple visit caused my
heart to pant and the slightest physical exercise was intolerable to
me, such as wrestling with another person; even to discuss my most
cherished ideas appeared to me, and still appears, almost impossible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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