The Disowned — Volume 03Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
The Disowned — Volume 03
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
This sight seemed to recall him for a moment. He paused, lifted up
the picture once more, and placed it on the table. "But," he
muttered, "might not this critic be envious? am I sure that he judged
rightly--fairly? The greatest masters have looked askant and jealous
at their pupils' works. And then, how slow, how cold, how damned
cold, how indifferently he spoke; why, the very art should have warmed
him more. Could he have--No, no, no: it was true, it was! I felt the
conviction thrill through me like a searing iron. Burn it--did he
say--ay--burn it: it shall be done this instant."
And, hastening to the door, he undid the bolt. He staggered back as
he beheld his old and nearest surviving relative, the mother of his
father, seated upon the ground beside the door, terrified by the
exclamations she did not dare to interrupt. She rose slowly, and with
difficulty as she saw him; and, throwing around him the withered arms
which had nursed his infancy, exclaimed, "My child!--my poor--poor
child! what has come to you of late? you, who were so gentle, so mild,
so quiet,--you are no longer the same,--and oh, my son, how ill you
look: your father looked so just before he died!"
"Ill!" said he, with a sort of fearful gayety, "ill--no: I never was
so well; I have been in a dream till now; but I have woke at last.
Why, it is true that I have been silent and shy, but I will be so no
more. I will laugh, and talk, and walk, and make love, and drink
wine, and be all that other men are. Oh, we will be so merry! But
stay here, while I fetch a light."
"A light, my child, for what?"
"For a funeral!" shouted Warner, and, rushing past her, he descended
the stairs, and returned almost in an instant with a light.
Alarmed and terrified, the poor old woman had remained motionless and
weeping violently. Her tears Warner did not seem to notice; he pushed
her gently into the room, and began deliberately, and without uttering
a syllable, to cut the picture into shreds.
"What are you about, my child?" cried the old woman "you are mad; it
is your beautiful picture that you are destroying!"
Warner did not reply, but going to the hearth, piled together, with
nice and scrupulous care, several pieces of paper, and stick, and
matches, into a sort of pyre; then, placing the shreds of the picture
upon it, he applied the light, and the whole was instantly in a blaze.
"Look, look!" cried he, in an hysterical tone, "how it burns and
crackles and blazes! What master ever equalled it now?--no fault now
in those colours,--no false tints in that light and shade! See how
that flame darts up and soars!--that flame is my spirit! Look--is it
not restless?--does it not aspire bravely?--why, all its brother
flames are grovellers to it!--and now,--why don't you look!--it
falters--fades--droops--and--ha--ha--ha! poor idler, the fuel is
consumed--and--it is darkness."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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