The Duchess was too far advanced in life to find any of that enjoyment
in her occupations, which her own poet described in these stanzas, and
which he felt himself only by an effort of reflection. But if there
was not the excitement of hope, there was the satisfaction of giving
useful employment to honest industry. “When one comes,” said she, “to
the last broken arches of Mirza's bridge, rest from pain must bound
our ambition, for pleasure is not to be expected in this world. I have
no more notion of laying schemes to be executed six months, than I
have six years hence; and this I believe helps to keep my spirits in
an even state of cheerfulness to enjoy the satisfactions that present
themselves, without anxious solicitude about their duration. As our
journey seems approaching towards the verge of life, is it not more
natural to cast our eyes to the prospect beyond it, than by a
retrospective view to recall the troublesome trifles that ever made
our road difficult or dangerous? Methinks it would be imitating Lot's
wife (whose history is not recorded as an example for us to follow) to
want to look back upon the miserable scene we are so near escaping
from.”
In another letter to the same old friend she says, “I have a regular,
and I hope a religious family. My woman, though she has not lived with
me quite three years, had before lived twenty-three betwixt Lord
Grantham's and Lady Cowper's: my housekeeper has been a servant as
long: the person who takes in my accounts, pays my bills, and
overlooks the men within doors, has been in the family thirteen years;
and the other, who has lived ten, has the care of the stables and
every thing without. I rise at seven, but do not go down till nine
when the bell rings and my whole family meet me at chapel. After
prayers we go to breakfast; any friend who happens to be there,
myself, and my chaplain, have ours in the little library; the others
in their respective eating rooms. About eleven if the weather permits,
we go to walk in the park, or take the air in the coach; but if it be
too bad for either we return to our various occupations. At three we
dine, sit perhaps near an hour afterwards, then separate till we meet
at eight for prayers; after which we adjourn again to the library,
where somebody reads aloud (unless some stranger comes who chooses
cards), until half past nine, when we sup, and always part before
eleven. This to the fine would sound a melancholy monastic life; and I
cannot be supposed to have chosen it from ignorance of the splendour
and gaiety of a court, but from a thorough experience that they can
give no solid happiness; and I find myself more calmly pleased in my
present way of living, and more truly contented, than I ever was in
the bloom and pomp of my youth. I am no longer dubious what point to
pursue. There is but one proper for the decline of life, and indeed
the only one worth the anxiety of a rational creature at any age: but
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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