"I think candy eggs would make a very good lining, better than real eggs; and about half the time you're trying to line me with them, aren't you? With all the sulphur in them! And I do hate sulphur, and I have always hated it since the boy at my desk in school wore a bag of it around his neck under his shirt to keep off diseases. My! how he smelt--worse than contagion! Candy eggs would make a very good lining; even the regular soldiers get candy in their rations now. And they don't have to eat new-laid eggs of mornings! Think of an army having to win a hard-fought battle on soft-boiled eggs! They don't have to do _that_, do they?" "They do not!" said the doctor. "They positively do not! But we won't say anything more about eggs--saccharine or sulphurous. What are you going to do at the party?" "I am going to dance." "Alone? O dear! All alone? You'd better go skate on the ice! Not all alone?" "I should say not! With my girl, of course." "That's better, much better. And then what?" "I am going to promenade, with my girl on my arm." "On _both_ arms, did you say?" "No; on _one_ arm." "Which?" "Either." "That sounds natural! (Heart action regular; brain unclouded; temperature normal.) And then? What next?" "I'm going to take the darling in to supper." "Hold on! Not so fast! Suppose there isn't any supper--for the darling." "Don't say that! It would nearly kill me! Don't you suppose there'll be any supper?" "I'm afraid there will be. Well, after the darling has had her fatal supper? (Of course you won't want any!) What then?" "What else is there to do?" "You don't look as innocent as you imagine!" "You don't have to confess what you'd like to do, do you? Would you have told your father?" "I don't think I would." "Then I won't tell you." "Then you needn't! I don't wish to know--only it must _not_ be on the cheek! Remember, you are no son of mine if it's on the cheek!" "I thought I heard you say _that_ got people into trouble." "Maybe I did. I ought to have said it if I didn't; and it seems to be the kind of trouble that you are trying to get into. (Temperature rising but still normal. Respiration deeper. All symptoms favorable. No further bulletins deemed necessary.) Well, then? Where were we?" "Anyhow, I've never thought of cheeks when I've thought of _that_; I thought cheeks were for chewing." "Guardian Powers of our erring reason! Where did you get that idea--if sanity can call it an idea?" "Watching our cows." The doctor laughed till tears ran down his face. "You can't learn much about kissing by watching anybody's _cows_, Governor," he said, wiping the tears away. "Not about _human_ kissing. You must begin to direct your attention to an animal not so meek and drivable. You must learn to consider, my son, that hornless wonder and terror of the world who forever grazes but never ruminates!"