To describe the feelings with which the unfortunate doctor went fasting
about his day's work--the manner in which that scene returned to him
after every visit he made--the continual succession in which wrath,
dismay, alarm, bitter disgust with the falsehood of the brother who, no
further gone than last night, had pretended to confide in him, but never
breathed a syllable of this biggest unconcealable secret, swept through
the mind of the victim; all culminating, however, in the softening of
that moment, in the tiny figure, indomitable elf or fairy, shedding back
with dainty fingers those soft abundant locks--would be impossible. The
young man got through his work somehow, in a maze of confusion and
excitement--angry excitement, indignant confusion, determination to
yield nothing further, but to defend himself and his house once for all
from the inroads of what he angrily pronounced in his own mind "another
man's family"--yet, withal, of curiosity and interest which gave zest
greater than usual to the idea of going home. When he was able at last
to turn his horse's head towards his own dwelling, it was with feelings
very different from the usual unexpecting blank of sullen displeasure.
What he should find there, was a curious, exciting, alarming question;
perhaps an entire nursery with Nettie in charge; perhaps a recusant
husband with Nettie mounting guard over him; perhaps a thrilling scene
of family explanation and reconciliation. The day had been a specially
long and hard one. He had been obliged to snatch a hurried lunch at one
of his patients' houses, and to postpone his hard-earned dinner to the
most fashionable of hours. It was indeed quite evening, almost twilight,
when he made his way home at last. As he neared the scene of action,
the tired man condoled with himself over the untimely excitement that
awaited him. He said to himself with pathetic self-pity that it was hard
indeed for a man who had earned a little repose to go in upon all the
troubles of another man's family. He had denied himself--he had not
undertaken upon his own shoulders that pleasing burden; and now what
was he to be saddled with?--the burden without the consolation--the
responsibility without the companionship. All this Dr Rider represented
to himself very pathetically as he wended his homeward way. Yet it is
astonishing, notwithstanding, with what alacrity he hastened upon that
path, and how much the curiosity, the excitement, the dramatic stir and
commotion made in his monotonous life by this entirely new unexpected
incident, occupied his mind. With expectations highly roused, he drew
up once more before his own house. It was surprising to him to see
how exactly it looked like itself. The blinds half-drawn down in the
genteelest calm as they always were--no faces peeping at the windows--no
marks of an arrival on the pavement, or in the composed countenance of
Mary, who stood holding the door open for him. He went in with a little
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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