Dr Rider started up from his chair. He went to Nettie's side with a
sudden thrill of agitation and passion. He clasped the hand with which
Nettie was smoothing out that little frock, and crushed the delicate
fingers in his inconsiderate grasp. "Nettie! if you must carry them
always upon your shoulders, cannot we do it together, at least?" cried
the doctor, carried away beyond every boundary of sense or prudence. He
got down on his knees beside the table, not kneeling to her, but only
compelling her attention--demanding to see the answer of her eyes, the
quiver of her mouth. For that moment Nettie's defences too fell before
this unlooked-for outburst of a love that had forgotten prudence. Her
mouth quivered, her eyes filled. If it were possible--if it were only
possible!---- They had both forgotten the spectators who gazed with
curious eyes, all unaware how deeply their own fate was involved; and
that fate was still trembling in the breathless interval, when a vulgar
finger touched those delicate balances of possibility, and the crisis
was over, perhaps never to return.
"Nettie!" cried Mrs Fred, "if Edward Rider has no respect for me, nor
for my poor Fred--my poor, dear, injured husband, that helped to bring
him up, and gave up his practice to him, and died, as I might say, by
his neglect--Nettie! how can you be so cruel to your sister? How can you
go taking his hand, and looking as if he were your lover? You never had
any feeling for me, though everybody thinks so much of you. And now I
know what I have to expect. The moment my poor dear Fred's head is laid
in the grave--as soon as ever you have me in your own hands, and nobody
to protect me!--oh, my Fred! my Fred!--as soon as you are gone, this is
how they are using your poor helpless family!--and soon, soon I shall
die too, and you will not be encumbered with _me_!"
Long before this sobbing speech was concluded, Dr Rider had risen to his
feet, and was pacing through the little room with hasty steps of disgust
and rage, and an agitation which overwhelmed all his attempts to master
it; while Nettie sat supporting her head in her hands, pressing her
fingers upon her hot eyes, beholding that fair impossible vision break
and disappear from before her. Nettie's heart groaned within her, and
beat against the delicate bosom which, in its tender weakness, was
mighty as a giant's. She made no answer to her sister's outcry, nor
attempted to comfort the hysterical sobbing into which Susan fell.
Nettie gave up the hopeless business without being deceived by those
selfish demonstrations. She was not even fortunate enough to be able to
persuade herself into admiring love and enthusiasm for those to whom
necessity obliged her to give up her own life. She said nothing; she
knew the sobs would subside, the end would be gained, the insignificant
soul lapse into comfort, and with a sigh of compulsory resignation
Nettie yielded once more to her fate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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