The Doctor's Wife: A NovelBraddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
General
The Doctor's Wife: A Novel
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
Adultery -- Fiction; Great Britain -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Physicians' spouses -- Fiction
"It is not a passing folly," returned Mr. Lansdell, fiercely. "I was
willing to think that it was so last autumn, when I took your advice and
went away from this place. I know better now. If there is depth and
truth anywhere in the universe, there is depth and truth in my love for
Isabel Gilbert. Do not talk to me, Raymond. The arguments which would
have weight with other men, have no power with me. It is my fault or my
misfortune that I cannot believe in the things in which other men
believe. Above all, I cannot believe in formulas. I cannot believe that
a few words shuffled over by a parson at Conventford last January
twelvemonth can be strong enough to separate me for ever from the woman
I love, and who loves me. Yes, she loves me, Raymond!" cried the young
man, his face lighting up suddenly with a smile, which imparted a warmth
to his dark complexion like the rich glow of a Murillo. "She loves me,
my beautiful unvalued blossom, that I found blooming all alone and
unnoticed in a desert--she loves me. If I had discovered coldness or
indifference, coquetry or pretence of any kind in her manner the other
day when I came home, I would have gone back even then; I would have
acknowledged my mistake, and would have gone away to suffer alone. My
dear old Raymond, it is your duty, I know, to lecture me and argue with
me; but I tell you again it is only wasted labour; I am past all that.
Try to pity me, and sympathize with me, if you can. Solitude is not such
a pleasant thing, and people do not go through the world alone without
some sufficient reason for their loneliness. There must have been some
sorrow in your life, dear old friend, some mistake, some disappointment.
Remember that, and have pity upon me."
Mr. Raymond was silent for some minutes; he sat with his face shaded
with his hand, and the hand was slightly tremulous.
"There was a sorrow in my life, Roland," he said by-and-by, "a deep and
lasting one; and it is the memory of that sorrow which makes you so dear
to me; but it was a sorrow in which shame had no part. I am proud to
think that I suffered, and suffered silently. I think you can guess,
Roland, why you have always been, and always must be, as dear to me as
my own son."
"I can," answered the young man, holding out his hand, "you loved my
mother."
"I did, Roland, and stood aloof and saw her married to the man she
loved. I held her in my arms and blessed her on her wedding-day in the
church yonder; but never from that hour to this have I ceased to love
and honour her. I have worshipped a shadow all my life; but her image
was nearer and dearer to me than the living beauty of other women. I can
sympathize with a wasted love, Roland; but I cannot sympathize with a
love that seeks to degrade its object."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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