Now, Kitty, whenever mamma uses the word "position," she has generally
come to the end of her ammunition, which is of the less consequence
that she usually contrives with this last shot to explode the enemy's
magazine, and blow him clean out of the water! Papa knows this so well,
that the moment he hears it, he takes to the long boat, or, to drop
the use of metaphor, he seizes his hat and decamps; which he did on the
present occasion, leaving ma and myself in the field.
"A Dodd indeed, in the peerage!" said she, contemptuously; "I 'd like
to know where you 'd find it! If it was a M'Carthy, there would be some
difference; M'Carthy More slew Shawn Bhuy na Tiernian in the year ten
thousand and six, and was hanged for it at his own gate, in a rope of
silk of the family colors, green and white; and I 'd like to know where
were the Dodds then? But it's the way with your father always, Mary
Anne; he quite forgets the family he married into."
Though this was somewhat of unjust reproach, Kitty, I did not reply to
it, but turned ma's attention to the King's gracious message, and the
approaching _dejeuner_. We agreed that as Cary would n't and indeed
could n't go, that ma and I should dress precisely alike, with our hair
in bands in front, with two long curls behind the ears, white tarletan
dresses, three jupes, looped up with marigolds; the only distinction
being that ma should wear her carbuncles, and I nothing but moss-roses.
It sounds very simple costume, Kitty, but Mademoiselle Adèle has such
taste we felt we might rely upon its not being too plain. Papa, of
course, would wear his yeomanry uniform, which is really very neat, the
only ungraceful part being the white shorts and black gaiters to the
knee; and these he insists on adhering to, as well as the helmet, which
looks exactly like a gigantic caterpillar crawling over a coal-box!
However, it's military; and abroad, my dearest Kitty, if not a soldier,
you are nothing. The English are so well aware of this that not one of
them would venture to present himself at a foreign court in that absurd
travesty of footmen called the "corbeau" coat. Even the lawyers
and doctors, the newspaper editors, the railroad people, the civil
engineers, and the solicitors, all come out as Yorkshire Hussars,
Gloucestershire Fencibles, Hants Rifles, or Royal Archers; these last,
very picturesque, with kilt, filibeg, and dirk, much handsomer than any
other Highland regiment! We also discussed a little plot about making pa
wear a coronation-medal, which would pass admirably as an "order," and
procure him great respect and deference amongst the foreigners; but
this, I may as well mention here, he most obstinately rejected, and
swore at last that if we persisted, he 'd have his commission as a
justice of the peace fixed on a pole, and carry it like a banner before
him. Of course, in presence of such a threat, we gave up our project.
You may smile, Kitty, at my recording such trivial circumstances; but of
such is life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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