wonderfully amusing for a while, and I enjoy it greatly.
From what I have seen of the world of pleasure, I begin to suspect that
we English people are never likely to have any great success in our
attempts at it; and for this simple reason, that we bring to our social
hours exhausted bodies and fatigued minds; we labor hard all day in law
courts or counting-houses or committee-rooms, and when evening comes are
overcome by our exertions, and very little disposed for those efforts
which make conversation brilliant, or intercourse amusing. Your
foreigner, however, is a chartered libertine. He feels that nature never
meant him for anything but idleness; he takes to frivolity naturally
and easily; and, what is of no small importance too, without any loss
of self-esteem! Ah, Tom! that is the great secret of it all. We never
do our fooling gracefully. There is everlastingly rising up within us a
certain bitter conviction that we are not doing fairly by ourselves, and
that our faculties might be put to better and more noble uses than we
have engaged them in. We walk the stage of life like an actor ashamed
of his costume, and "our motley" never sets easily on us to the last. I
think I had better stop dogmatizing, Tom. Heaven knows where it may lead
me, if I don't. Old Woodcock says that "he might have been a vagabond,
if Providence had n't made him a justice of the peace;" so I feel that
it is not impossible I might have been a moral philosopher, if fate had
n't made me the husband of Mrs. Dodd.
Wednesday Afternoon.
My dear Tom,--I had thought to have despatched this prosy epistle
without being obliged to inflict you with any personal details of the
Dodd family. I was even vaunting to myself that I had kept us all
"out of the indictment," and now I discover that I have made a signal
failure, and the codicil must revoke the whole body of the testament.
How shall I ever get my head clear enough to relate all I want to tell
you? I go looking after a stray idea the way I 'd chase a fellow in
a crowded fair or market, catching a glimpse of him now--losing him
again--here, with my hand almost on him,--and the next minute no sign of
him! Try and follow me, however; don't quit me for a moment; and, above
all, Tom, whatever vagaries I may fall into, be still assured that I
have a road to go, if I only have the wit to discover it!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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