Christian life -- Fiction; Dreams -- Fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“No; do not say anything more. It is very singular, but in proportion
as you utter such sweet, such tender words, which ought to convince me,
fear takes possession of me and chills me to the heart. My God! What is
the matter with me? It is really that which you say which drives me from
you. If you continue, I can no longer listen to you; you will be obliged
to go away. Yet wait--wait a little longer!”
She walked very slowly about the room, anxiously seeking to resume her
self-control, while he looked at her in despair.
“I thought to have loved you no longer; but it was certainly only a
feeling of pique, since just now, as soon as I found you again at my
feet, my heart beat rapidly, and my first impulse was to follow you as
if I were your slave. Then, if I love you, why am I afraid of you? What
is it that prevents me from leaving this room, as if invisible hands
were holding me back by my whole body, and even by each hair of my
head?”
She had stopped near her bed; then she went as far as the wardrobe, then
to the different articles of furniture, one after the other. They all
seemed united to her person by invisible ties. Especially the walls of
the room, the grand whiteness of the mansard roof, enveloped her with
a robe of purity, that she could leave behind her only with tears; and
henceforth all this would be a part of her being; the spirit of her
surroundings had entered into her. And she realised this fact stronger
than ever when she found herself opposite her working-frame, which was
resting at the side of the table under the lamplight. Her heart softened
as she saw the half-made rose, which she would never finish were she to
go away in this secret, criminal manner. The years of work were brought
back to her mind: those quiet, happy years, during which life had been
one long experience of peace and honesty, so that now she rebelled at
the thought of committing a fault and of thus fleeing in the arms of
her lover. Each day in this little, fresh house of the embroiderers,
the active and pure life she had led there, away from all worldly
temptations, had, as it were, made over all the blood in her veins.
Then Felicien, realising that in some inexplicable way Angelique was
being reconquered and brought to her better self, felt the necessity of
hastening their departure. He seized her hands and said:
“Come, dear. Time passes quickly. If we wait much longer it will be too
late.”
She looked at him an instant, and then in a flash realised her true
position. Freeing herself from his grasp she exclaimed, resolutely and
frankly:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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