Christian life -- Fiction; Dreams -- Fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“It is already too late. You can see for yourself that I am unable now
to follow you. Once my nature was so proud and passionate that I could
have thrown my two arms around your neck in order that you might carry
me away all the more quickly. But now I am no longer the same person. I
am so changed that I do not recognise myself. Yes, I realise now that
it is this quiet corner where I have been brought up, and the education
that has been given me, that has made me what I am at present. Do you
then yourself hear nothing? Do you not know that everything in this
chamber calls upon me to stay? And I do not rebel in the least against
this demand, for my joy at last is to obey.”
Without speaking, without attempting to discuss the question with her,
he tried to take her hands again, and to lead her like an intractable
child. Again she avoided him and turned slowly toward the window.
“No, I beseech you to leave me. It is not my hand that you wish for, it
is my heart; and also that, of my own free will, I shall at once go away
with you. But I tell you plainly that I do not wish to do so. A while
ago I thought to have been as eager for flight as you are. But sure of
my true self now, I know it was only the last rebellion, the agony of
the old nature within me, that has just died. Little by little, without
my knowledge, the good traits of my character have been drawn together
and strongly united: humility, duty, and renunciation. So at each return
of hereditary tendency to excess, the struggle has been less severe, and
I have triumphed over temptation more easily. Now, at last, everything
assures me that the supreme contest has just taken place; that
henceforth it is finished for ever. I have conquered myself, and my
nature is freed from the evil tendencies it had. Ah! dear Seigneur,
I love you so much! Do not let us do the slightest thing to mar our
happiness. To be happy it is always necessary to submit.”
As he took another step towards her, she was at the threshold of the
great window, which was now wide open on to the balcony. She had stopped
him with a half-smile as she said:
“You would not like to force me to throw myself down from here. Listen,
and understand me when I say to you that everything which surrounds
me is on my side. I have already told you that for a long time objects
themselves have spoken to me. I hear voices in all directions, and never
have they been so distinct as at this moment. Hear! It is the whole
Clos-Marie that encourages me not to spoil my life and yours by giving
myself to you without the consent of your father. This singing voice is
the Chevrotte, so clear and so fresh that it seems to have put within me
a purity like crystal since I have lived so near it. This other
voice, like that of a crowd, tender and deep, it is that of the entire
earth--the grasses, the trees, all the peaceable life of this sacred
corner which has so constantly worked for the good of my soul.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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