"I never laugh," said Findlayson. "But tell me, old chap, are you really human? You talk as if you were." "No," returned the Donkey Engine, sadly. "I am neither fish, flesh, nor fowl. I'm a _bivalve--a cockney bivalve_," he added. "Oh," replied Findlayson, with a gesture of deprecation, "you are not a clam!" "No," the Donkey Engine replied, as with a sudden inspiration; "but I'm a hoister." And Findlayson burst into a paroxysm of mirth--it must be remembered that he was English--the like of which the good old liner never heard before. And later, when Peroo returned, having won at _Pok-Kah_ with the _Drummerz_, he found his master sleeping like the veriest child. Findlayson was saved. VI IN WHICH HARRY SNOBBE RECITES A TALE OF GLOOM Monty St. Vincent had no sooner seated himself after telling the interesting tale of the Salvation of Findlayson, when Billy Jones, of the _Oracle_, rose up and stated that Mr. Harry Snobbe, as the holder of the seventh ball, would unfold the truly marvellous story that had come to him after the first dinner of the Dreamers. "Mr. Snobbe requests all persons having nerves to be unstrung to unstring them now. His tale, he tells me, is one of intense gloom; but how intense the gloom may be, I know not. I will leave it to him to show. Gentlemen, Mr. Snobbe." Mr. Snobbe took the floor, and after a few preliminary remarks, read as follows: THE GLOOMSTER A TALE OF THE ISLE OF MAN Old Gloomster Goodheart, of Ballyhack, left the Palace of the Bishop of Man broken-hearted. The Bishop had summoned him a week previous to show cause why he should not be removed from his office of Gloomster, a position that had been held by members of his family for ten generations, aye, since the days of that ancient founder of the family, Cronky Gudehart, of whom tradition states that his mere presence at a wedding turned the marriage feast into a seeming funeral ceremony, making men and women weep, and on two occasions driving the bride to suicide and the groom into the Church. Indeed, Cronky Gudehart was himself the first to occupy the office of Gloomster. The office was created for his especial benefit, as you will see, for it was the mere fact that the two grooms bereft at the altar sought out the consolation of the monastery that called the attention of the ecclesiastical authorities to the desirability of establishing such a functionary. The two grooms were men of wealth, and, had it not been for Cronky Gudehart's malign influence, neither they nor their wealth would have passed into the control of the Church, a fact which Ramsay Ballawhaine, then Bishop of Man, was quick to note and act upon.