Then awoke within him, exactly as was the case in his early youth--alas!
in many respects he still much resembled a big child--feelings at once
revengeful, fantastic, and intoxicating. "Stuff and nonsense!" he
shouted out to himself. "All my life is before me." And, as it were, in
keeping with his thoughts, he took firmer strides, and breathed more
deeply. "To-morrow to spite them all I shall rise with the sun, stick to
my books, and force an entrance into the Military Academy. Hard work? I
can work hard if I like. I must take myself in hand, that is all. I'll
read and cram like fury, early and late, and then, some fine day, to
every one's astonishment, I shall pass a brilliant examination. And
then, of course, every one will say: 'This was nothing unexpected, we
might have foretold that long ago. Such an energetic, talented young
man!'"
And our Romashov already saw himself in his mind's eye with a snug Staff
appointment and unlimited possibilities in the future. His name stood
engraved on the golden tablet of the Military Academy. The professors
had predicted a brilliant career for him, tried to retain him as a
lecturer at the Academy, etc. etc.--but in vain. All his tastes were for
the practical side, for troop service. He had also first to perform his
duties as company officer, and as a matter of course--yes, _as a matter
of course_--in his old regiment. He would, therefore, have to make
another appearance here--in this disgusting little out-of-the-way
hole--as a Staff officer uncommonly learned and all-accomplished, in
every respect unsurpassable, well-bred and elegant, inexorably severe to
himself, but benevolently condescending towards others, a pattern for
all, envied by all, etc. etc. He had seen at the manoeuvres in the
previous year a similar prodigy, who stood millions of miles above the
rest of mankind, and who, therefore, kept himself far apart from his
comrades at the officers' mess. Cards, dice, heavy drinking and noisy
buffoonery were not in his line; he had higher views. Besides, he had
only honoured with a short visit that miserable place, which for him was
only a stage, a step-ladder on the road to honour--and decorations.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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