With surprise, terror, and pain Romashov realized that Fate had daily
united him by the closest ties with hundreds of these grey
"Khliabnikovs," with those defenceless victims of their own ignorance
and brutal coarseness, of the officers' heartless indifference and
cruelty, of a humiliating, systematic slavery; but the most horrible of
all, however, was the fact that not a single officer--and, up to that
day, not even Romashov himself--saw in these stereotyped crowds of
slaves anything beyond mechanical quantities bracketed under the name of
companies, battalions, regiments, etc.
Romashov did his best to procure Khliabnikov, now and then, a little
income. Of course it was not very long before both this and other
unaccustomed marks of humanity on the part of an officer became noticed
in the company. Romashov noticed very frequently how the "non-coms." in
his presence acted towards Khliabnikov with comical, exaggerated
politeness in manner and tone. That even Captain Sliva had got scent of
Romashov's changed attitude as regards the treatment of soldiers was
palpable enough, and more than once, from remarks made by him--
"D-d-damned Liberals--come here to ruin the people--ought to be
thrashed--f-f-flayed alive, every man Jack of 'em!"
Now, as Romashov more and more abandoned himself to loneliness and
self-examination, those curious, entangling contemplations, which a
month previously, at the time of his arrest, had such a disturbing
effect on him, now assailed him with even greater frequency. These
generally happened after his duties for the day had been done, when he
strolled silently backwards and forwards, beneath the thick, slumbering
foliage of the trees near his dwelling, and when, lonely and oppressed,
he listened to the solemn bass of the booming beetles or, with dreamy
eyes, gazed at the roseate and rapidly darkening sky.
This new life of his surprised him by the richness of its shifting
impression. In days gone by he would never have even dared to entertain
a notion of what pure and calm joy, what potency and secret depths, lie
hidden in something so simple and common as human thought.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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