Peter, in allowing her to enjoy herself after her own fashion, felt no
weight of warning responsibility. But Alicia died suddenly at Carlsbad,
and the horror of self-reproach, of bitter regret, that fell upon Odd
when the news reached him at his sister's, was as unjust as it was
poignant. At Allersley the general verdict was that Mrs. Odd's death had
broken her husband's heart, and Allersley, though arguing from false
premises, was not far wrong. Odd was nearly heart-broken. That Alicia's
death should have lifted the weight of a fatal mistake from his life was
a fact that tortured and filled him with remorse. Doubts and conjectures
haunted him. Alicia might have dumbly longed for a sympathy for which
she was unable to plead, and he to guess her longing. She had died away
from him, without one word of mutual understanding, without one look of
the love he once had felt and she accepted; and bitterest of all came
the horrid realism of the thought that his absence had not made death
more bitter to her. He shut himself up in the Manor for three weeks,
seeing no one, and then, in sudden rebellion against this passive
suffering, determined to go to India. He had a second sister married
there. The voyage would distract him, and change, movement, he must
have. The news spread quickly over Allersley, and Allersley approved of
the wisdom of the decision.
At the Priory little Hilda Archinard was suffering in her way--the
dreary suffering of childhood, with its sense of hopeless finality, of
helpless inexperience. Chasms of desolation deepened within her as she
heard that her friend was going away.
The sudden blossoming of her devotion to Odd had widened her
capabilities for conscious loneliness. Her loneliness became apparent to
her, and the immense place his smile, his kindness, her confident sense
of his goodness had filled in her dreaming little life. Her aching pity
for him was confused by a vague terror for herself. She could hardly
bear the thought of his departure. Every day she walked all along the
hedges and walls that divided the Priory from the Manor estate; but she
never saw him. The thought of not seeing him again, which at first had
seemed impossible, now fixed upon her as a haunting obsession.
"Odd goes to-morrow," the Captain announced one evening in the
drawing-room. Katherine was playing, not very conscientiously but rather
cleverly, a little air by Grieg. Hilda had a book on her lap, but she
was not reading, and her father's words seemed to stop her heart in its
heavy beating.
"I met Thompson"--Mr. Thompson was Peter's land-agent--"and everything
is settled. Poor chap! Thompson says he's badly broken up."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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