Adventure stories; Fiction; Mystery fiction; Short stories
‘And that fitly brings me to my second point,’ said Somerset. ‘For I
observed you to employ the word “indiscriminate.” Now, surely, a
scavenger’s barrow and a child (if child there were) represent the very
acme and top pin-point of indiscriminate, and, pardon me, of ineffectual
reprisal.’
‘Did I employ the word?’ asked Zero. ‘Well, I will not defend it. But
for efficiency, you touch on graver matters; and before entering upon so
vast a subject, permit me once more to fill our glasses. Disputation is
dry work,’ he added, with a charming gaiety of manner.
Once more accordingly the pair pledged each other in a stalwart grog; and
Zero, leaning back with an air of some complacency, proceeded more
largely to develop his opinions.
‘The indiscriminate?’ he began. ‘War, my dear sir, is indiscriminate.
War spares not the child; it spares not the barrow of the harmless
scavenger. No more,’ he concluded, beaming, ‘no more do I. Whatever may
strike fear, whatever may confound or paralyse the activities of the
guilty nation, barrow or child, imperial Parliament or excursion steamer,
is welcome to my simple plans. You are not,’ he inquired, with a shade
of sympathetic interest, ‘you are not, I trust, a believer?’
‘Sir, I believe in nothing,’ said the young man.
‘You are then,’ replied Zero, ‘in a position to grasp my argument. We
agree that humanity is the object, the glorious triumph of humanity; and
being pledged to labour for that end, and face to face with the banded
opposition of kings, parliaments, churches, and the members of the force,
who am I—who are we, dear sir—to affect a nicety about the tools
employed? You might, perhaps, expect us to attack the Queen, the
sinister Gladstone, the rigid Derby, or the dexterous Granville; but
there you would be in error. Our appeal is to the body of the people; it
is these that we would touch and interest. Now, sir, have you observed
the English housemaid?’
‘I should think I had,’ cried Somerset.
‘From a man of taste and a votary of art, I had expected it,’ returned
the conspirator politely. ‘A type apart; a very charming figure; and
thoroughly adapted to our ends. The neat cap, the clean print, the
comely person, the engaging manner; her position between classes, parents
in one, employers in another; the probability that she will have at least
one sweet-heart, whose feelings we shall address:—yes, I have a
leaning—call it, if you will, a weakness—for the housemaid. Not that I
would be understood to despise the nurse. For the child is a very
interesting feature: I have long since marked out the child as the
sensitive point in society.’ He wagged his head, with a wise, pensive
smile. ‘And talking, sir, of children and of the perils of our trade,
let me now narrate to you a little incident of an explosive bomb, that
fell out some weeks ago under my own observation. It fell out thus.’
And Zero, leaning back in his chair, narrated the following simple tale.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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