'For the first time in my life,' says Contarini, 'I was surrounded by
struggling and excited beings. Joy, hope, sorrow, ambition, craft,
dulness, courage, cowardice, beneficence, awkwardness, grace, avarice,
generosity, wealth, poverty, beauty, hideousness, tyranny, suffering,
hypocrisy, tricks, love, hatred, energy, inertness, they were all there
and sounded and moved and acted about me. Light laughs and bitter cries
and deep imprecations, and the deeds of the friendly, the prodigal, and
the tyrant, the exploits of the brave, the graceful, and the gay, and
the flying words of native wit and the pompous sentences of acquired
knowledge, how new, how exciting, how wonderful!'
[Sidenote: EDUCATION AT HOME]
Contarini is Disraeli thus launched into a school epitome of the world
after the Unitarian pattern. It was a poor substitute for Eton. The
young Disraeli soon asserted his superiority. He made enemies, he made
friends, at all events he distinguished himself from his comrades.
School work did not interest him, and he paid but slight attention to
it. He wanted ideas, and he was given what seemed to him to be but
words. He lost the opportunity of becoming an exact scholar. On the
other hand in thought, in imagination, in general attainments, he was
superior to everyone about him, masters included. Superiority begets
jealousy. Boys never pardon a comrade who is unlike themselves. He was
taunted with his birth, as it was inevitable that he would be. As
inevitably he resented the insult. Contarini Fleming and Vivian Grey
both fight and thrash the biggest boy in their school. The incident in
the novels is evidently taken from the writer's experience. Disraeli
was a fighter from his youth, with his fist first, as with his tongue
afterwards. It was characteristic of him that he had studied the art of
self-defence, and was easily able to protect himself. But both his
heroes were unpopular, and it may be inferred that he was not popular
any more than they. The school experiment was not a success and came to
an abrupt end. Vivian Grey was expelled; Contarini left of his own
accord, because he learnt nothing which he thought would be of use to
him, and because he 'detested school more than he ever abhorred the
world in the darkest moment of experienced manhood.' The precise
circumstances under which Disraeli himself made his exit are not known
to me, but his stay at Walthamstow was a brief one, and he left to
complete his education at home. His father, recollecting the troubles of
his own youth, abstained from rebukes or reproaches, left him to
himself, helped him when he could, and now and then, if we may identify
him with Vivian, gave him shrewd and useful advice. Disraeli wanted no
spurring. He worked for twelve hours a day, conscious that he had
singular powers and passionately ambitious to make use of them. He was
absolutely free from the loose habits so common in the years between
boyhood and youth; his father had no fault to find with his conduct,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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