Children -- Fiction; Fantasy fiction; Paranormal fiction
There is nothing to be gained by dwelling upon sadness; the details of
Paul’s suffering may be left to the imagination. It was characteristic
of him that he sought instinctively, and without cant, for the Reality
that lay behind his pain; and Reality—though seas of grief may first be
plunged through to find it—is always Joy. For love is joy, and joy is
strength, and both are aspects of the great central Reality of the life
of the soul. The child was so woven into the strands of his inmost being
that her going seemed, as it were, to draw out with her these very
strands—drew them out away from himself towards—towards what? He hardly
knew how to name it. The word ‘God’ rarely passed his lips: towards
‘Reality,’ then; towards the deep things he had sought all his life.
Part of himself, however, the child had taken away with her. He passed
more and more away from the things of the world, though these had never
yet held him with any security in their mesh. Nixie had gone ahead, that
was all. Before long, as years measure time at least, he would follow
her. She might even come back, ‘like the trees in the spring,’ to tell
him of the way.
His great longing, unexpressed, had always been to know something of the
Beyond—to see into the heart of things; not by the uninspired methods of
an unsavoury spiritualism, or the artificial forcing-house of an
audacious Magic; but by some inner, as yet undetermined, way in his own
heart. For he had always clung to the secret belief that there must be
some interior way of finding ‘Reality,’ some process, simple, piercing,
profound, that would have authority for himself, if not for all the
world. In the heart of all true mystics some such Faith is ingrained.
They are born with it. It is ineradicable—lived, but rarely spoken.
And the root of this belief it was that Nixie had unknowingly watered
and fed. Her going seemed suddenly to have coaxed it almost into flower.
His need of the great, satisfying Companion that knows no shadow of
turning was incalculably quickened thereby. Love and Nature were the
veils that screened the Beyond so thinly that he could almost see
through them; and to both these mysteries the child had led him better
than she knew.
The energy of his mystical yearnings suddenly increased a hundredfold.
Whether these remain within to poison, or go out to bless, depends, of
course, upon the nature of the heart that feels them. Paul, fortunately
for himself, had found ways of expression; he was always provided now
with the safety of an outlet. And, for the immediate moment, the path
was clear enough, and very simple. He was to comfort the mother that
mourned her; himself that mourned her; the puzzled little brother and
sister, and even the army of more or less disconsolate four-footed
friends that missed her presence vaguely, and haunted the door of her
room with the strange instinct that there must still be caresses for
them within, and that for the moment she was merely hiding.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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