Toward the world, especially toward men, I am to _assume a particular
feeling_, and "meet them with love," with the feeling of love, from the
beginning. Certainly, in this there is revealed far more free-will and
self-determination than when I let myself be stormed, by way of the
world, by all possible feelings, and remain exposed to the most
checkered, most accidental impressions. I go to the world rather with a
preconceived feeling, as if it were a prejudice and a preconceived
opinion: I have prescribed to myself in advance my behavior toward it,
and, despite all its temptations, feel and think about it only as I
have once determined to. Against the dominion of the world I secure
myself by the principle of love; for, whatever may come, I--love. The
ugly--_e. g._--makes a repulsive impression on me; but, determined to
love, I master this impression as I do every antipathy.
But the feeling to which I have determined and--condemned myself from
the start is a _narrow_ feeling, because it is a predestined one, of
which I myself am not able to get clear or to declare myself clear.
Because preconceived, it is a _prejudice_. _I_ no longer show myself in
face of the world, but my love shows itself. The _world_ indeed does not
rule me, but so much the more inevitably does the spirit of _love_ rule
me. I have overcome the world to become a slave of this spirit.
If I first said, I love the world, I now add likewise: I do not love it,
for I _annihilate_ it as I annihilate myself; _I dissolve it_. I do not
limit myself to one feeling for men, but give free play to all that I am
capable of. Why should I not dare speak it out in all its glaringness?
Yes, _I utilize_ the world and men! With this I can keep myself open to
every impression without being torn away from myself by one of them. I
can love, love with a full heart, and let the most consuming glow of
passion burn in my heart, without taking the beloved one for anything
else than the _nourishment_ of my passion, on which it ever refreshes
itself anew. All my care for him applies only to the _object of my
love_, only to him whom my love _requires_, only to him, the "warmly
loved." How indifferent would he be to me without this--my love! I feed
only my love with him, I _utilize_ him for this only: I _enjoy_ him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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