The Egregious EnglishCrosland, T. W. H. (Thomas William Hodgson)
General
The Egregious English
Crosland, T. W. H. (Thomas William Hodgson)
National characteristics, English
serious principles. There are no Chiffons in Scotland, whether maids
or matrons. Consequently in Scotland there are precious few fools.
Hard heads, sound sense, high spirits, indomitable will, inexhaustible
energy, are not the offspring of mammas who know more about cosmetics
than about swaddling-clothes, and who suckle their children out of
patent-food tins. One of the rebukers of Mr. Crosland has pointed out
with some pertinence that the Scotswoman approximates more closely to
the Wise Man's view of what a good wife should be than almost any other
kind of woman in the world. Here, as Mr. Crosland would say, is Solomon:
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall
have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her
household, and a portion to her maidens.
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands
she planteth a vineyard.
She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out
by night.
She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her
hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household
are clothed with scarlet.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of
the land.
She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the
merchant.
Strength and honour are her clothing: and she shall rejoice in time to
come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of
kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the
bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he
praiseth her.
Yes, Mr. Crosland, it _is_ "very, very, very Scotch." What poor little
Chiffon would think of it, if it were put before her as a standard of
wifely qualification and duty, nobody but the Englishman knows. Perhaps
she would shrug her shoulders and say, "How absurd!" Perhaps she would
not understand it at all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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