Transcribed from “The Sleeping Car and Other Farces” 1911 Houghton Mifflin Company edition by David Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org THE ELEVATOR. Farce. I. SCENE: Through the curtained doorway of _Mrs. Edward Roberts’s_ pretty drawing-room, in Hotel Bellingham, shows the snowy and gleaming array of a table set for dinner, under the dim light of gas-burners turned low. An air of expectancy pervades the place, and the uneasiness of _Mr. Roberts_, in evening dress, expresses something more as he turns from a glance into the dining-room, and still holding the _portière_ with one hand, takes out his watch with the other. _Mr. Roberts_ to _Mrs. Roberts_ entering the drawing-room from regions beyond: “My dear, it’s six o’clock. What can have become of your aunt?” _Mrs. Roberts_, with a little anxiety: “That was just what I was going to ask. She’s never late; and the children are quite heart-broken. They had counted upon seeing her, and talking Christmas a little before they were put to bed.” _Roberts_: “Very singular her not coming! Is she going to begin standing upon ceremony with us, and not come till the hour?” _Mrs. Roberts_: “Nonsense, Edward! She’s been detained. Of course she’ll be here in a moment. How impatient you are!” _Roberts_: “You must profit by me as an awful example.” _Mrs. Roberts_, going about the room, and bestowing little touches here and there on its ornaments: “If you’d had that new cook to battle with over this dinner, you’d have learned patience by this time without any awful example.” _Roberts_, dropping nervously into the nearest chair: “I hope she isn’t behind time.” _Mrs. Roberts_, drifting upon the sofa, and disposing her train effectively on the carpet around her: “She’s before time. The dinner is in the last moment of ripe perfection now, when we must still give people fifteen minutes’ grace.” She studies the convolutions of her train absent-mindedly. _Roberts_, joining in its perusal: “Is that the way you’ve arranged to be sitting when people come in?” _Mrs. Roberts_: “Of course not. I shall get up to receive them.” _Roberts_: “That’s rather a pity. To destroy such a lovely pose.” _Mrs. Roberts_: “Do you like it?” _Roberts_: “It’s divine.” _Mrs. Roberts_: “You might throw me a kiss.” _Roberts_: “No; if it happened to strike on that train anywhere, it might spoil one of the folds. I can’t risk it.” A ring is heard at the apartment door. They spring to their feet simultaneously. _Mrs. Roberts_: “There’s Aunt Mary now!” She calls into the vestibule, “Aunt Mary!” _Dr. Lawton_, putting aside the vestibule _portière_, with affected timidity: “Very sorry. Merely a father.” _Mrs. Roberts_: “Oh! Dr. Lawton? I am so glad to see you!” She gives him her hand: “I thought it was my aunt. We can’t understand why she hasn’t come. Why! where’s Miss Lawton?” _Lawton_: “That is precisely what I was going to ask you.”