NICIAS. May the plague seize him, the arch-fiend--him and his lying tales! DEMOSTHENES. Hah! my poor fellow, what is your condition? NICIAS. Very wretched, just like your own. DEMOSTHENES. Then come, let us sing a duet of groans in the style of Olympus.[6] DEMOSTHENES AND NICIAS. Boo, hoo! boo, hoo! boo, hoo! boo, hoo! boo, hoo! boo, hoo!! DEMOSTHENES. Bah! 'tis lost labour to weep! Enough of groaning! Let us consider how to save our pelts. NICIAS. But how to do it! Can you suggest anything? DEMOSTHENES. Nay! you begin. I cede you the honour. NICIAS. By Apollo! no, not I. Come, have courage! Speak, and then I will say what I think. DEMOSTHENES. "Ah! would you but tell me what I should tell you!"[7] NICIAS. I dare not. How could I express my thoughts with the pomp of Euripides? DEMOSTHENES. Oh! prithee, spare me! Do not pelt me with those vegetables,[8] but find some way of leaving our master. NICIAS. Well, then! Say "Let-us-bolt," like this, in one breath. DEMOSTHENES. I follow you--"Let-us-bolt." NICIAS. Now after "Let-us-bolt" say "at-top-speed!" DEMOSTHENES. "At-top-speed!" NICIAS. Splendid! Just as if you were masturbating yourself; first slowly, "Let-us-bolt"; then quick and firmly, "at-top-speed!" DEMOSTHENES. Let-us-bolt, let-us-bolt-at-top-speed![9] NICIAS. Hah! does that not please you? DEMOSTHENES. I' faith, yes! yet I fear me your omen bodes no good to my hide. NICIAS. How so? DEMOSTHENES. Because hard rubbing abrades the skin when folk masturbate themselves. NICIAS. The best thing we can do for the moment is to throw ourselves at the feet of the statue of some god. DEMOSTHENES. Of which statue? Any statue? Do you then believe there are gods? NICIAS. Certainly. DEMOSTHENES. What proof have you? NICIAS. The proof that they have taken a grudge against me. Is that not enough? DEMOSTHENES. I'm convinced it is. But to pass on. Do you consent to my telling the spectators of our troubles? NICIAS. 'Twould not be amiss, and we might ask them to show us by their manner, whether our facts and actions are to their liking.