A BAKER'S WIFE (_to Bdelycleon_). Come to my help, I beg you, in the name of the gods! This cursed man, when striking out right and left with his torch, knocked over ten loaves worth an obolus apiece, and then, to cap the deal, four others. BDELYCLEON. Do you see what lawsuits you are drawing upon yourself with your drunkenness? You will have to plead. PHILOCLEON. Oh, no, no! a little pretty talk and pleasant tales will soon settle the matter and reconcile her with me. BAKER'S WIFE. Not so, by the goddesses twain! It shall not be said that you have with impunity spoilt the wares of Myrtia,[156] the daughter of Ancylion and Sostraté. PHILOCLEON. Listen, woman, I wish to tell you a lovely anecdote. BAKER'S WIFE. Oh! friend, no anecdotes for me, thank you. PHILOCLEON. One night Aesop was going out to supper. A drunken bitch had the impudence to bark near him. Aesop said to her, "Oh, bitch, bitch! you would do well to sell your wicked tongue and buy some wheat." BAKER'S WIFE. You make a mock of me! Very well! Be you who you like, I shall summons you before the market inspectors[157] for damage done to my business. Chaerephon[158] here shall be my witness. PHILOCLEON. But just listen, here's another will perhaps please you better. Lasus and Simonides[159] were contesting against each other for the singing prize. Lasus said, "Damn me if I care." BAKER'S WIFE. Ah! really, did he now! PHILOCLEON. As for you, Chaerephon, _can_ you be witness to this woman, who looks as pale and tragic as Ino when she throws herself from her rock[160] ... at the feet of Euripides? BDELYCLEON. Here, methinks, comes another to summons you; _he_ has his witness too. Ah! unhappy indeed we are! ACCUSER. I summons you, old man, for outrage. BDELYCLEON. For outrage? Oh! in the name of the gods, do not summons him! I will be answerable for him; name the penalty and I will be more grateful still. PHILOCLEON. I ask for nothing better than to be reconciled with him; for I admit I struck him and threw stones at him. So, first come here. Will you leave it in my hands to name the indemnity I must pay, if I promise you my friendship as well, or will you fix it yourself? ACCUSER. Fix it; I like neither lawsuits nor disputes. PHILOCLEON. A man of Sybaris[161] fell from his chariot and wounded his head most severely; he was a very poor driver. One of his friends came up to him and said, "Every man to his trade." Well then, go you to Pittalus[162] to get mended. BDELYCLEON. You are incorrigible. ACCUSER (_to his witness_). At all events, make a note of his reply. PHILOCLEON. Listen, instead of going off so abruptly. A woman at Sybaris broke a box. ACCUSER (_to his witness_). I again ask you to witness this. PHILOCLEON. The box therefore had the fact attested, but the woman said, "Never worry about witnessing the matter, but hurry off to buy a cord to tie it together with; 'twill be the more sensible course."