for he is a man very fit to cure an insolent fellow of his boasting. BDELYCLEON. Xanthias! Sosias! Are you asleep? XANTHIAS. Oh! oh! SOSIAS. What is the matter? XANTHIAS. Why, Bdelycleon is rising. BDELYCLEON. Will neither of you come here? My father has got into the stove-chamber and is ferreting about like a rat in his hole. Take care he does not escape through the bath drain. You there, put all your weight against the door. SOSIAS. Aye, aye, master. BDELYCLEON. By Zeus! what is that noise in the chimney? Hullo! who are you? PHILOCLEON. I am the smoke going up. BDELYCLEON. Smoke? smoke of what wood? PHILOCLEON. Of fig-wood.[31] BDELYCLEON. Ah! 'this the most acrid of all. But you shall not get out. Where is the chimney cover?[32] Come down again. Now, up with another cross-bar. Now look out some fresh dodge. But am I not the most unfortunate of men? Henceforward, I shall only be called the son of the smoky old man. Slave, hold the door stoutly, throw your weight upon it, come, put heart into the work. I will come and help you. Watch both lock and bolt. Take care he does not gnaw through the peg. PHILOCLEON. What are you dong, you wretches? Let me go out; it is imperative that I go and judge, or Dracontides will be acquitted. BDELYCLEON. What a dreadful calamity for you! PHILOCLEON. Once at Delphi, the god, whom I was consulting, foretold, that if an accused man escaped me, I should die of consumption. BDELYCLEON. Apollo, the Saviour, what a prophecy! PHILOCLEON. Ah! I beseech you, if you do not want my death, let me go. BDELYCLEON. No, Philocleon, no never, by Posidon! PHILOCLEON. Well then, I shall gnaw through the net[33] with my teeth. BDELYCLEON. But you have no teeth. PHILOCLEON. Oh! you rascal, how can I kill you? How? Give me a sword, quick, or a conviction tablet. BDELYCLEON. Our friend is planning some great crime. PHILOCLEON. No, by Zeus! but I want to go and sell my ass and its panniers, for 'this the first of the month.[34] BDELYCLEON. Could I not sell it just as well? PHILOCLEON. Not as well as I could. BDELYCLEON. No, but better. Come, bring it here, bring it here by all means--if you can. XANTHIAS. What a clever excuse he has found now! What cunning to get you to let him go out! BDELYCLEON. Yes, but I have not swallowed the hook; I scented the trick. I will go in and fetch the ass, so that the old man may not point his weapons that way again....[35] Stupid old ass, are you weeping because you are going to be sold? Come, go a bit quicker. Why, what are you moaning and groaning for? You might be carrying another Odysseus.[36] XANTHIAS. Why, certainly, so he is! someone has crept beneath his belly. BDELYCLEON. Who, who? Let us see. XANTHIAS. 'Tis he. BDELYCLEON. What does this mean? Who are you? Come, speak! PHILOCLEON. I am Nobody. BDELYCLEON. Nobody? Of what country? PHILOCLEON. Of Ithaca, son of Apodrasippides.[37]