In front of a side-altar a solitary old sacristan was setting paper
flowers in porcelain vases, beneath the gilt statue of Saint Joseph. A
grey, rainy daylight poured sadly through the blurred window-panes. The
celebrant, upright at the left of the high altar, was reading the last
Gospel.
“_Et Verbum caro factum est_,” said he, bending his knees.
Firmin Piédagnel, who was serving the mass, knelt at the same time
on the step where stood the bell; then he rose and, after the last
responses, preceded the priest into the sacristy. Abbé Lantaigne set
down the chalice with the corporal and waited for the server to help
him remove his priestly vestments. Firmin Piédagnel, being sensitive
to the mysterious influences of things, felt the charm of this scene,
so simple and yet so sacred. His soul, suffused with tender unction,
tasted with a kind of joy the familiar grandeur of the priesthood.
Never had he felt so deeply the desire to be a priest and in his turn
to celebrate the holy sacrifice. Having kissed and carefully folded up
the alb and chasuble, he bowed before Abbé Lantaigne ere retiring. The
head of the seminary, who had resumed his great-coat, made a sign to
him to stay, and looked at him with such nobility and kindness that the
young man received the look as a favour and a blessing. After a long
silence:
“My child,” said M. Lantaigne, “whilst celebrating this mass which I
asked you to serve, I prayed God to give me the strength to send you
away. My prayer has been granted. You are no longer a member of this
household.”
As he took in these words, Firmin was stupefied. It seemed to him that
the flooring was giving way beneath his feet. Through eyes big with
tears, he vaguely saw the lonely road, the rain, a life darkened with
misery and toil, the fate of a lost child terrified by its own weakness
and timidity. He looked at M. Lantaigne. The resolute gentleness,
the quiet strength, the calmness of this man revolted him. Suddenly
a feeling was born and grew in him, a feeling that sustained and
strengthened him, a hatred of the priest, a deathless and fruitful
hatred, a hatred to fill a whole life. Without uttering a word, he went
with great strides out of the sacristy.
III
Abbé Lantaigne, head of the high seminary of …, wrote the following
letter to Monseigneur the Cardinal-Archbishop of …:
“MONSEIGNEUR,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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