It was a still, warm evening, and the stars were beginning to show
themselves in the dark blue sky when Irene left the church. There was
peace in her soul as she breathed in the balmy Southern air. “Thank God!”
she said to herself. “At last I have found my vocation. What matter
if I do not sufficiently believe? The principal thing is to sing, to
read prayers, and to touch the hearts of all those unhappy, suffering
people, who come to pray with the nuns, believing in their purity and
saintliness.”
Almost all unmarried women of a certain age suffer secret torments
from the fact that they have actually no place in society. Irene was
no exception to this rule, and she was happy at the thought that now,
at last, she might be of some use in the service of humanity. To have
a special uniform—an idea always dear to the Russian heart—was also a
great attraction. In imagination she tried on the picturesque dress of
those modern vestal virgins, making up her mind to be graceful, to float
about like a white spirit, to sing, and to read prayers melodiously.
From that day, Irene never missed a single evening service in the Via
Gallia. The nuns were inaccessible to outsiders, and no stranger was ever
admitted to the convent—an additional fact to play upon Irene’s fancy.
The convent stood on a hill. Luxurious palms and fragrant Roman pines
leaned over its high garden walls, and Irene saw, in imagination, the
small, interior courtyard, with its covered verandah, its slim, carved
columns, its murmuring fountain, its Southern foliage and flowers. She
pictured to herself the early morning; she heard the measured tones of
the melodious convent bells calling the sisters to prayer; then she
thought of the evening, of a golden Roman sunset, a purple sky, faint,
glistening stars, and the _Ave Maria_.…
How beautiful, how poetical, seemed her future life, with its prayers,
its meditations, its rapturous exaltation, its Gospel-readings, its
soft singing, its incense! An enchanted existence in a Southern clime, a
sweet, mystical dream, and then—death, followed by a probable awakening
to some new and glorious life!
The news of Irene’s decision created a great sensation in her _pension_.
Although nothing was definitely settled between herself and Père Etienne,
everyone else knew which order she had chosen, and on which day she was
to be received. Some even went so far as to name the dressmaker who
was making her convent robes. They all constantly stared at Irene, and
pointed her out to their visitors.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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