His dream was a happy hearth and home and a large family, and yet he
never married. Perhaps the reason of this might have been found in the
pure and sacred image of his mother, with which he unconsciously compared
all other women to their detriment; also a little in the fact that he
was inclined to be proud and suspicious. He rarely went to Petrograd,
and the provincial young ladies whom he met in S⸺ were far too frankly
in ecstasies before his wealth and brilliant position. Gzhatski was
never happy abroad, and now deeply regretted that, after an attack of
inflammation of the lungs caught during an autumn hunt, his doctors had
persuaded him to pass the rest of the winter in Italy.
In spite of the mutual impertinences they had exchanged at their first
meeting, Irene had not displeased Gzhatski, and, seeing her a few days
later on the Corso, he approached her with a friendly greeting. Irene
was so touched by this absence of rancour, that, wishing to destroy the
unpleasant impression of their previous conversation, she invited him
to come and see her. Two days later Gzhatski availed himself of her
invitation, and, in the good old provincial Russian fashion, stayed
three hours! He told Irene all about his estate and about the other S⸺
landowners, and expressed his horror at the indecent haste with which
many of them, frightened by the recent “revolution,” had sold their
ancestral estates and moved to Petrograd.
“I say nothing,” he remarked, “of the fact that their children will be
penniless, since they will very quickly lose their newly acquired money
in all sorts of doubtful speculations; our landowners are proverbially
credulous and unbusinesslike! But the principal trouble is that these
ruined children will, in addition, have lost the ties which bound them
to our soil—and it is my firm belief that one can only be a true patriot
if one has lived from childhood on one’s own land and among one’s own
people, and has stored in one’s heart all the charming recollections
and associations of an early youth spent in one’s ancestral country
home. Even now, when after a long absence I approach my little station,
my heart beats, and I recognize with joy, almost with tenderness, the
station officials, my coachman, my _troika_.[1] It is all near and dear
to me; the woods, the fields, the peasants who greet me smilingly, and
who have known and loved me all my life. How much that is sacred breathes
in memories of childhood, and how sad life must be when they are absent!
I think, for instance, that if you, Irene Pavlovna, had in your heart
the remembrance of some modest little village church where you prayed
as a child, you would never have dreamt of betraying the faith of your
childhood; you would never even have formulated your vague, cosmopolitan
belief in Christ, a belief that certainly cannot give you happiness.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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