“Another man was sent out to lure the ferocious beast to the pound with
a lasso, but it worked no better than the previous attempt. The lasso
fell all right tight about one of the animal's necks, but his other two
heads immediately set to work and gnawed the rope through, and then set
off after the dog-catcher, overtaking him at the very door of the pound.
This time he didn't do any biting, but lifting the dog-catcher up with
his various sets of teeth, fastened to his collar, coat-tails, and feet
respectively, carried him yelling like a trooper to the end of the
wharf and dropped him into the Styx. The result of this was nervous
prostration for the dog-catcher, another suit for damages for the city,
and a great laugh for the State authorities. In fact,” Boswell added,
confidentially, “I think perhaps the reason why the Prime-minister
hasn't got Apollyon to hang the whole city government has been due to
the fun they've got out of seeing Cerberus and the city fighting it out
together. There's no doubt about it that he is a wonderful dog, and is
quite capable of taking care of himself.”
“But the outcome of the case?” I asked, much interested.
“Defeat for the city,” said Boswell. “Failing to enforce its authority
by means of its servants, the city undertook to recover by due process
of law. The dog-catchers were powerless; the police declined to act on
the advice of the commissioners, since dog-catching was not within their
province; and the fire department averred that it was designed for
the putting out of fires and not for extinguishing fiery canines like
Cerberus. The dog, meanwhile, to show his contempt for the city, chewed
the license-tag off the neck upon which it had been placed, and dropped
it into a smelting-pot inside the gates of the infernal regions that was
reserved to bring political prisoners to their senses, and, worse than
all, made a perfect nuisance of himself by barking all day and baying
all night, rain or shine.”
“Papers in a suit at law were then served on Mazarin and the other
members of Apollyon's council, the causes of complaint were recited, and
damages for ten years back taxes on two dogs, plus the amounts recovered
from the city by the two injured dog-catchers, were demanded. The suit
was put upon the calendar, and Apollyon himself sat upon the bench with
Judge Blackstone, before whom the case was to be tried.
“On both sides the arguments were exceedingly strong. Coke appeared for
the city and Catiline for the State. After the complaint was read, the
attorney for the State put in his answer, that the State's contention
was that the ordinance had been complied with, that Cerberus was only
one dog, and that the license had been paid; that the license having
been paid, the dog-catchers had no right to endeavor to abduct the
animal, and that having done so they did it at their own peril; that
the suit ought to be dismissed, but that for the fun of it the State was
perfectly willing to let it go on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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