Fathers and daughters -- Fiction; Older men -- Fiction; Seafaring life -- Fiction; Ship captains -- Fiction
At last he would lock up the desk with the decision of unshaken
confidence, jump and go out. He would walk swiftly back and forth on
that part of the foredeck which was kept clear of the lumber and of the
bodies of the native passengers. They were a great nuisance, but they
were also a source of profit that could not be disdained. He needed
every penny of profit the Sofala could make. Little enough it was, in
all conscience! The incertitude of chance gave him no concern, since
he had somehow arrived at the conviction that, in the course of years,
every number was bound to have his winning turn. It was simply a matter
of time and of taking as many tickets as he could afford for every
drawing. He generally took rather more; all the earnings of the ship
went that way, and also the wages he allowed himself as chief engineer.
It was the wages he paid to others that he begrudged with a reasoned
and at the same time a passionate regret. He scowled at the lascars with
their deck brooms, at the quartermasters rubbing the brass rails with
greasy rags; he was eager to shake his fist and roar abuse in bad Malay
at the poor carpenter--a timid, sickly, opium-fuddled Chinaman, in loose
blue drawers for all costume, who invariably dropped his tools and fled
below, with streaming tail and shaking all over, before the fury of that
“devil.” But it was when he raised up his eyes to the bridge where one
of these sailor frauds was always planted by law in charge of his ship
that he felt almost dizzy with rage. He abominated them all; it was an
old feud, from the time he first went to sea, an unlicked cub with a
great opinion of himself, in the engine-room. The slights that had
been put upon him. The persecutions he had suffered at the hands of
skippers--of absolute nobodies in a steamship after all. And now that
he had risen to be a shipowner they were still a plague to him: he
had absolutely to pay away precious money to the conceited useless
loafers:--As if a fully qualified engineer--who was the owner as
well--were not fit to be trusted with the whole charge of a ship. Well!
he made it pretty warm for them; but it was a poor consolation. He had
come in time to hate the ship too for the repairs she required, for the
coal-bills he had to pay, for the poor beggarly freights she earned.
He would clench his hand as he walked and hit the rail a sudden blow,
viciously, as though she could be made to feel pain. And yet he could
not do without er; he needed her; he must hang on to her tooth and nail
to keep his head above water till the expected flood of fortune came
sweeping up and landed him safely on the high shore of his ambition.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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