The English Mail-Coach and Joan of ArcDe Quincey, Thomas
General
The English Mail-Coach and Joan of Arc
De Quincey, Thomas
English essays; Joan, of Arc, Saint, 1412-1431
outside passenger; and thus the crime, which else was but too probable,
missed fire for want of a criminal.
Having mounted the box, I took a small quantity of laudanum, having
already travelled two hundred and fifty miles--viz., from a point
seventy miles beyond London. In the taking of laudanum there was nothing
extraordinary. But by accident it drew upon me the special attention
of my assessor on the box, the coachman. And in _that_ also there was
nothing extraordinary. But by accident, and with great delight, it drew
my own attention to the fact that this coachman was a monster in point
of bulk, and that he had but one eye. In fact, he had been foretold by
Virgil as
"Monstrum horrendum, informe, ingens, cui lumen ademptum."
He answered to the conditions in every one of the items:--1, a monster
he was; 2, dreadful; 3, shapeless; 4, huge; 5, who had lost an eye. But
why should _that_ delight me? Had he been one of the Calendars in the
"Arabian Nights," and had paid down his eye as the price of his criminal
curiosity, what right had _I_ to exult in his misfortune? I did _not_
exult; I delighted in no man's punishment, though it were even merited.
But these personal distinctions (Nos. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) identified in an
instant an old friend of mine whom I had known in the south for some
years as the most masterly of mail-coachmen. He was the man in all
Europe that could (if _any_ could) have driven six-in-hand full
gallop over _Al Sirat_--that dreadful bridge of Mahomet, with no side
battlements, and of _extra_ room not enough for a razor's edge--leading
right across the bottomless gulf. Under this eminent man, whom in Greek
I cognominated Cyclops _Diphrélates_ (Cyclops the Charioteer), I, and
others known to me, studied the diphrelatic art. Excuse, reader, a word
too elegant to be pedantic. As a pupil, though I paid extra fees, it is
to be lamented that I did not stand high in his esteem. It showed his
dogged honesty (though, observe, not his discernment) that he could
not see my merits. Let us excuse his absurdity in this particular by
remembering his want of an eye. Doubtless _that_ made him blind to my
merits. In the art of conversation, however, he admitted that I had the
whip-hand of him. On the present occasion great joy was at our meeting.
But what was Cyclops doing here? Had the medical men recommended
northern air, or how? I collected, from such explanations as he
volunteered, that he had an interest at stake in some suit-at-law now
pending at Lancaster; so that probably he had got himself transferred
to this station for the purpose of connecting with his professional
pursuits an instant readiness for the calls of his lawsuit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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