Friend. You'll not offend again? Author. I will, by Jove! Friend. Take my advice, reflect; Who'll buy your sketches 1 Author. Many, I expect. Friend. I fear but few, unless, Munchausen-like, You've something strange, that will the public strike: Men with six heads, or monsters with twelve tails, Who patter flash, for nothing else prevails In this dull age. Author. Then my success is certain; I think you'll say so when I draw the curtain, And, presto! place before your wond'ring eyes A race of beings that must 'cite surprise; The strangest compound truth and contradiction Owe to dame Nature, or the pen of Action; Where wit and folly, pride and modest worth, Go hand in hand, or jostle at a birth; Where prince, peer, peasant, politician meet, And beard each other in the public street; ~6~~ Where ancient forms, though still admired, Are phantoms that have long expired; Where science droops 'fore sovereign folly, And arts are sick with melancholy; Where knaves gain wealth, and honest fellows, By hunger pinch'd, blow knav'ry's bellows; Where wonder rises upon wonder-- Friend. Hold! Or you may leave no wonders to be told. Your book, to sell, must have a subtle plot--Mark the Great Unknown, wily ***** ****: Print in America, publish at Milan; There's nothing like this Scotch-Athenian plan, To hoax the cockney lack-brains. Author. It shall be: Books, like Madeira, much improve at sea; 'Tis said it clears them from the mist and smell Of modern Athens, so says sage Cadell, Whose dismal tales of shipwreck, stress of weather, Sets all divine _Nonsensia_ mad together; And, when they get the dear-bought novel home, "They love it for the dangers it has overcome." Friend. I like your plan: "art sure there's no offence?" Author. None that's intended to wound common-sense. For your uncommon knaves who rule the town, Your M.P.'s, M.D.'s, R.A.'s and silk gown, Empirics in all arts, every degree, Just Satire whispers are fair game for me. Friend. The critic host beware! Author. Wherefore, I pray? "The cat will mew, the dog will have his day." Let them bark on! who heeds their currish note Knows not the world--they howl, for food, by rote. [Illustration: page007] ~7~~ REFLECTIONS, ADDRESSED TO THOSE WHO CAN THINK. Reflections of an Author--Weighty Reasons for writing-- Magister artis ingeniique largitor Venter--Choice of Subject considered--Advice of Index, the Book-seller--Of the Nature of Prefaces--How to commence a new Work.