_Abbé._ Pardie! Ver strange indeed! I have see for the times
a good deal. I have dine yesterday at a caffée--I know not what
you call--Monsieur D'Eschallot bring me dare. Monsieur D'Eschallot,
I assure you is ver prett Gentleman, and leave two tousand
livres devant, avec droit de chasse, behind him--avec droit de
chasse Monsieur; but by Gar I never see such dinner in all my Life.
"How do you do?--Very well tank you--What news?--Noting at all--My
service to you, to you, to you, to you" all de way down, and
ma foi, dey talk no more. And den, jarnie! Me was ver much surprise
to see my own Countrymen as unmannerly as de English--and
I scramble for de Soup and boulli--me was 'fraid to put my hand
to de dish, for fear amidst all de Knife and Fork, somebody in a
hurry help himself to my fingers.
_Jack._ O this Country is enough to ruin the manners of an Angel.
_Abbé._ And den I was at de play last night, Otello I tink was
de play--by Gar he vas in ver great Passion because he loose his
Handkercher--such play! It is one of Shakespeare I tink--
_Jack._ O le Barbare! Voltaire you know calls him a Drunken
Savage--un Savage enyorée!
_Abbé._ But by Gar me vas ver much please to see so many
naked Shoulder in de Box, and ma foi, to see some of the Ladies
paint as much by Gar as if dey be in Paris. But Monsieur de
Broughton tink upon vat I say to you about des Airs, des façons,
and de manières--you have already ver pretty French Manners--you
have de turn of de Head, de movement of de Shoulder, de geste,
de Look, de Inflexion de Voix; and pon my vor, you take snuff, you
smile, you whisper, comme à la cour de France.
_Jack._ Oh you flatter me--I wish I could obtain an Act of Parliament
to unnaturalize myself.
_Abbé._ Laisez moi faire, I make you in ver leetle time so dat nobody
know you, you have ver good Naturel; vous avez les graces en partage
Monsieur you have ver much grace, and den you must never tink, never
plodd--no Embarras about Sense. Il faut voltiger Monsieur--fly about
from one ting to an uder, talk ill of your Acquaintance, you must have
your leetle Bagatelle, your leetle Persiflage. An so now I go make my
memorandum of vat I see in dis country.
(_Enter_ ST. LOUIS)
_St. Louis._ Two coachmen below Stair want to speak vid you
Sir.
_Jack._ Coachmen! Why you know I'm provided, but it's rumour'd
about I'm arriv'd and the fellows are ambitious of being in my Service,
that they may see me give myself airs--let 'em come up. My
dear Abbé, you can't be too severe in your Remarks on the English
Nation.
_Abbé._ Laisez moi faire--I now go make my memorandum. Let
me see--de man dat preach to de Butcher every Sunday--yesterday
an Englishman hang himself, but dat is noting new. De preacher
at Moorfields--de Robin Hood Society--de dissertation at Macklin's
Room--de Mob at de Executions--'twill do ver well, and so Monsieur
de Broughton au revoir. Il faut voltiger Monsieur. (_Sings_)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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