There was something in the words in which this was couched, that, still
more painfully than the taunt, affected the disconsolate penitent,
and he burst into tears, taking hold of the minister’s right hand
graspingly with his left, saying, ‘Spare me, doctor! O spare me, an it
be possible--for the worm that never dieth hath coiled itsel within my
bosom, and the fire that’s never quenched is kindled around me--What an
it be for ever?’
‘Ye should na, Mr. Walkinshaw,’ replied the clergyman, awed by the
energy and solemnity of his manner--‘Ye should na entertain such
desperate thoughts, but hope for better things; for it’s a blithe
thing for your precious soul to be at last sensible o’ your own
unworthiness.’
‘Aye, doctor, but, alack for me! I was ay sensible o’ that. I hae
sinned wi’ my e’en open, and I thought to mak up for’t by a strict
observance o’ church ordinances.’
‘’Deed, Mr. Walkinshaw, there are few shorter roads to the pit than
through the kirk-door; and many a Christian has been brought nigh to
the death, thinking himsel cheered and guided by the sound o’ gospel
preaching, when, a’ the time, his ear was turned to the sough o’
perdition.’
‘What shall I do to be saved?’ said the old man, reverentially and
timidly.
‘Ye can do naething yoursel, Mr. Walkinshaw,’ replied the minister; and
he proceeded, with the fearlessness of a champion and the energy of an
apostle, to make manifest to his understanding the corruption of the
human heart, and its utter unworthiness in the pure eyes of Him that
alone can wash away the Ethiopian hue of original sin, and eradicate
the leopard spots of personal guilt.
While he spoke the bosom of Claud was convulsed--he breathed deeply and
fearfully--his eyes glared--and the manner in which he held his hands,
trembling and slightly raised, showed that his whole inward being
was transfixed, as it were, with a horrible sense of some tremendous
apocalypse.
‘I fear, I fear, Doctor Denholm,’ he exclaimed, ‘that I can hae no
hope.’
The venerable pastor was struck with the despair of the expression,
and, after a short pause, said, ‘Dinna let yoursel despond; tak comfort
in the mercy of God; surely your life has na been blacken’t wi’ ony
great crime?’
‘It has been one continued crime,’ cried the penitent--‘frae the first
hour that my remembrance can look back to, down to the vera last
minute, there has been no break nor interruption in the constancy of my
iniquity. I sold my soul to the Evil One in my childhood, that I might
recover the inheritance of my forebears. O the pride of that mystery!
and a’ the time there was a voice within me that would na be pacified
wi’ the vain promises I made to become another man, as soon as ever my
conquest was complete.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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