ROGERS AND RAILROADS THE OLD-FASHIONED PRINTER SOCIETY OF AMERICAN AUTHORS READING-ROOM OPENING LITERATURE DISAPPEARANCE OF LITERATURE THE NEW YORK PRESS CLUB DINNER THE ALPHABET AND SIMPLIFIED SPELLING SPELLING AND PICTURES BOOKS AND BURGLARS AUTHORS' CLUB BOOKSELLERS "MARK TWAIN's FIRST APPEARANCE" MORALS AND MEMORY QUEEN VICTORIA JOAN OF ARC ACCIDENT INSURANCE--ETC. OSTEOPATHY WATER-SUPPLY MISTAKEN IDENTITY CATS AND CANDY OBITUARY POETRY CIGARS AND TOBACCO BILLIARDS THE UNION RIGHT OR WRONG? AN IDEAL FRENCH ADDRESS STATISTICS GALVESTON ORPHAN BAZAAR SAN FRANCISCO EARTHQUAKE CHARITY AND ACTORS RUSSIAN REPUBLIC RUSSIAN SUFFERERS WATTERSON AND TWAIN AS REBELS ROBERT FULTON FUND FULTON DAY, JAMESTOWN LOTOS CLUB DINNER IN HONOR OF MARK TWAIN COPYRIGHT IN AID OF THE BLIND DR. MARK TWAIN, FARMEOPATH MISSOURI UNIVERSITY SPEECH BUSINESS CARNEGIE THE BENEFACTOR ON POETRY, VERACITY, AND SUICIDE WELCOME HOME AN UNDELIVERED SPEECH SIXTY-SEVENTH BIRTHDAY TO THE WHITEFRIARS THE ASCOT GOLD CUP THE SAVAGE CLUB DINNER GENERAL MILES AND THE DOG WHEN IN DOUBT, TELL THE TRUTH THE DAY WE CELEBRATE INDEPENDENCE DAY AMERICANS AND THE ENGLISH ABOUT LONDON PRINCETON THE ST. LOUIS HARBOR-BOAT "MARK TWAIN" SEVENTIETH BIRTHDAY MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1853-1910 ARRANGED WITH COMMENT BY ALBERT BIGELOW PAINE THE COMPLETE PROJECT GUTENBERG MARK TWAIN INNOCENTS ABROAD by Mark Twain [From an 1869--1st Edition] CONTENTS CHAPTER I. Popular Talk of the Excursion--Programme of the Trip--Duly Ticketed for the Excursion--Defection of the Celebrities CHAPTER II. Grand Preparations--An Imposing Dignitary--The European Exodus --Mr. Blucher's Opinion--Stateroom No. 10--The Assembling of the Clans --At Sea at Last CHAPTER III. "Averaging" the Passengers--Far, far at Sea.--Tribulation among the Patriarchs--Seeking Amusement under Difficulties--Five Captains in the Ship CHAPTER IV. The Pilgrims Becoming Domesticated--Pilgrim Life at Sea --"Horse-Billiards"--The "Synagogue"--The Writing School--Jack's "Journal" --The "Q. C. Club"--The Magic Lantern--State Ball on Deck--Mock Trials --Charades--Pilgrim Solemnity--Slow Music--The Executive Officer Delivers an Opinion CHAPTER V. Summer in Mid-Atlantic--An Eccentric Moon--Mr. Blucher Loses Confidence --The Mystery of "Ship Time"--The Denizens of the Deep--"Land Hoh" --The First Landing on a Foreign Shore--Sensation among the Natives --Something about the Azores Islands--Blucher's Disastrous Dinner --The Happy Result