Italy -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Violinists -- Fiction
But her vitality was sapped by Julius' greedy monopoly. He clung with
the persistency of an âme damnée. He accompanied her to the dressmaker,
where she was draped according to his finicky conception of her type.
He chose her hats. He bought her underwear, all of the very finest,
of course. But when she wore it beneath his complacent eyes,
self-consciousness became an agony which habit refused to dull. If
passion had underlain the complacence, she would not have minded even
this. But Julius never forgot himself in his love for her. His natural
diffidence was a perpetual audience, the unwelcome third in all their
intercourse. Never impulsive, his caresses lacked the white heat of
passion which is clean because spontaneous. Beneath his touch, Anne felt
herself perpetually under the microscope. It seemed as if he were vain,
not of his prowess, but of still being capable of harboring sensation at
all. And habit made her quick to notice that these lapses into anæmic
appetite usually followed the prodding of some erotic book or play, and
were seldom occasioned by her own desirability. She became practiced in
the art of retreat and withdrawal, so that the whole nature of love was
distorted. Still, a sort of pity for his maimed spirit kept her silent.
She closed her eyes and tried deliberately to become callous. However,
she made up her mind that if so precious a commodity as freedom ever
came within her grasp again, she would never permit it to escape.
And now that this freedom had been hers for almost five years, its
realization had exceeded her keenest expectations. Evading every
opportunity of remarriage, she had skilfully apportioned her seasons
between the United States and Europe. The New York season was invariably
followed by a few weeks in Egypt or the Riviera and capped by three
sensuous months in the Florentine villa. And this was the best-loved
time of all, in which she renewed body and soul, absorbing peace and
serenity from the olive-crusted hills upon whose sides multi-colored
villas gleamed like jewels in dark tresses.
Within her small but cherished garden, rose a terrace paved with bricks.
One attained it by a narrow flight of moss-grown steps. Here she would
sit for hours, basking beneath the sun which rode the heavens like an
impartial god, while beyond the pallid balustrade, cypress-studded hills
merged into the horizontal purple.
Here it was that she received her friends for tea, listening indulgently
to lascivious, Tuscan, gossip. Then, alone once more, after her late
dinner, or companioned by the man of the hour, it was here she would
pace up and down in the sweet-scented dusk while myriads of fireflies
like a flaming milky way disbanded at her approach. And high above the
swarthy cypresses the sun's paramour, the moon, shamelessly flaunted in
his reflected rays.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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