The Essays of Douglas JerroldJerrold, Douglas William
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The Essays of Douglas Jerrold
Jerrold, Douglas William
English essays -- 19th century
This spirit is on the advance; and it is the consciousness of this truth
that impresses upon me the necessity of publishing a system by the
adoption of which the country may be saved from a desolating revolution,
and tens of thousands of future generations be secured those benefits
and enjoyments which, as the sons of Adam, they are justified in
expecting from the fulness of time.
I have proved, at least to my own satisfaction—a great sustaining point
with an author—proved that by the natural course of things multitudes of
generous spirits, before devoted to the professions, will be thrown upon
their own resources—a dreadful condition for most men. What is to become
of them? They cannot sink down into petty hucksters; railroads have
destroyed the race of pedlars; they must not, even if they had
sufficient moral courage, hold forth their white hands as medicants; and
if, stung by the injustice of society, they should in a moment of
exasperation take to the road, why, highwaymen, save and except the
highwaymen of fifty years ago, cease to be picturesque; and there is
another heavy discouragement—the barbarous institution of a rural
police. These fiery souls—the unemployed, superabundant young
gentlemen—must, then, become knight-errants; that is, they must
institute an order of chivalry peculiar to the age, and the best
calculated to meet the wants of the sufferers. Let us take a single
knight.
Here is Peter Muddleton, son of Jonah Muddleton, greengrocer,
Houndsditch. Jonah Muddleton dies, leaving Peter heir to the goodwill of
his shop, with seven hundred pounds in the three per cents. Well, had
Peter fallen upon a less ambitious age, he would have tied his apron
around him, walked behind the counter, and, saving a new coat of red and
yellow paint bestowed upon the outside of the shop, and the substitution
of “Peter” for “Jonah,” things would have gone on even as when Muddleton
senior was in the flesh. Peter, however, has a spirit above ha’porths of
starch and pen’orths of pepper; and having, as he most potently
believes, a gentlemanly taste, resolves to do anything that may become a
gentleman, but certainly not keep to a shop. The seven hundred pounds,
to Peter’s real astonishment, become in a brief time about eight hundred
shillings. A little month and Peter is penniless. What is to be done? Is
Peter to be blamed for the spirit of the age? Could he, the hapless son
of a vulgar sire, stultify himself to the fascinating and exalting
appeals of an advancing era? No; he is, in the first instance, the
victim of over refinement, and his moral perceptions having been
rendered painfully acute to the degradation of a shop, and his physical
man far too thin-skinned for the labour of Adam—and, moreover, having
not a sixpence, and seeing no gentlemanly mode of obtaining that
much-abused yet most necessary little coin—he magnanimously resolves to
eat and drink the best, and to wear the costliest, and all—without it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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