The Essays of Douglas JerroldJerrold, Douglas William
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The Essays of Douglas Jerrold
Jerrold, Douglas William
English essays -- 19th century
“The miser’s money-bag!—Another monster—all throat. Could its owner have
put the sun itself within this bag, the world for him had been in
darkness—perpetual night had cast a pall upon creation—the fruits of
earth had withered in the bud, and want and misery been universal;
whilst he, the thrifty villain! smugly lived in bloom, and in his very
baseness found felicity! And yet, what was the worth of all this bag
contained? Though it was stuffed with wealth, it was hung about with
fears. As its owner slid his palm into the heap, he would start as
though he felt the hand of death were hidden there to grasp him. He was
almost blind within a world of beauty. His eye saw no images save those
painted by gold; his ears heard not, save when the metal tinkled; his
tongue was dumb, if it spoke not of wealth; the glittering pieces were
to him the children of his heart and soul—dull offspring of the foulest
appetites; yet he hugged them to his bosom—he hugged them, and in his
dying hour they turned to snakes, and stung him in the embrace! This is
the miser’s money-bag—the abode of reptiles, the sepulchre of the soul!
“The sword!—Ceremony sanctifies it. Some kingly words are spoken—a
trumpet is blown; straightway the sword is _ennobled_!
“The lawyer’s gown!—the masquerading dress of common-sense. There is a
living instinct in its web: let golden villainy come under it, and with
a thought it flows and spreads, and gives an ample shelter to the thing
it covers; let poor knavery seek it, and it shrinks and curtains up, and
leaves the trembling victim naked to the court!”
Thus, in his graver moments, would old Schatten preach to his hearers;
then, with a thought, he would break from the solemn discourse, and make
merriment with the self-same objects. Thus, like a skilful juggler, he
would hold the conqueror’s laurel, that hardy plant, to his lips, and
with a puff blow it into dust; he would change the tiara into a huge
snake, monstrous and ugly, and make the beholders start at its
contortions. The long purse he would ravel into a shroud; he would melt
the sword into drops of blood, and turn the lawyer’s gown into a net of
steel. Whilst these tricks made him a favourite with the young and gay,
his learning, and the thousand stories he had of men of all ages and of
all ranks, rendered him an oracle of wisdom to the studious. It was
observed that Schatten, whilst narrating any history, always spoke as
though he had been an eye-witness of the circumstance he detailed; nay,
as though he had known their most secret thoughts.
* * * * *
And who is Schatten, whose history is yet unfinished? Who is this
mysterious Weaver, whose deeds, if chronicled, would fill thousands of
folios? He is everywhere about us: in the solitude of our chamber, in
the press and throng of the street, in the wilderness and in the city.
—“MY DAYS ARE SWIFTER THAN A WEAVER’S SHUTTLE.”
[Illustration]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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