The Essays of Douglas JerroldJerrold, Douglas William
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The Essays of Douglas Jerrold
Jerrold, Douglas William
English essays -- 19th century
“Sober! Ha! ha! ha!” shouted the speaker, and his face glowed redder,
and his eyes melted; “sober! why, thou wast begot in a wine cask, and
suckled by a bottle, or thou hadst never done this. By the thigh of
Jupiter! he who touched this,” and the stranger held up the ring to his
eye, and laughed again, “he who touched this hath never known water.
Tut! man, were I to pink thee with a sword thou’dst bleed wine!”
“I,” cried Stephen, “I bleed,” and he glanced fearfully towards the
door, and then at the stranger, who continued to look at the ring.
“The skin of the sorriest goat shall sometimes hold the choicest
liquor,” said the stranger, looking into the dry face of the goldsmith.
“Come, confess, art thou not a sly roysterer? Or art thou a hermit over
thy drops, and dost count flasks alone? Ay! ay! well, to thy cellar,
man; and—yes—thine arms are long enough—bring up ten bottles of thy
choicest Malaga.”
“I!—my cellar!—Malaga!” stammered Stephen.
“Surely thou hast a cellar?” and the stranger put his hat upon the table
with the air of a man set in for a carouse.
“For forty years, but it hath never known wine,” cried the goldsmith.
“I—I have never known wine.” The stranger said nothing; but, turning
full upon Stephen, and, placing his hands upon his knees, he blew out
his flushing cheeks like a bagpipe, and sat with his eyes blazing upon
the heretic. “No, never!” gasped Stephen, terrified, for a sense of his
wickedness began to possess him.
“And thou dost repent?” asked the stranger, with a touch of mercy
towards the sinner.
“I—humph! I’m a poor man,” cried Curlew; “yes, though I’m a goldsmith,
and seem rich, I—I’m poor! poor!”
“Well, ’tis lucky I come provided,” and the stranger placed upon the
table a couple of flasks. Whether he took them from under his cloak, or
evoked them through the floor, Stephen knew not; but he started at them
as they stood rebukingly upon his table, as if they had been two sheeted
ghosts. “Come, glasses,” cried the giver of the wine.
“Glasses!” echoed Stephen, “in my house!”
“Right, glasses! No—cups, and let them be gold ones!” and the bacchanal,
for it was plain he was such, waved his arm with an authority which
Stephen attempted not to dispute, but rose and hobbled into the shop,
and returned with two cups just as the first cork was drawn. “Come,
there’s sunlight in that, eh?” cried the stranger, as he poured the wine
into the vessels. “So, thou hast never drunk wine? Well, here’s to the
baptism of thy heart!” And the stranger emptied the cup, and his lips
smacked like a whip.
And Stephen Curlew tasted the wine, and looked around, below, above; and
the oaken wainscot did not split in twain, nor did the floor yawn, nor
the ceiling gape. Stephen tasted a second time; thrice did he drink, and
he licked his mouth as a cat licks the cream from her whiskers, and,
putting his left hand upon his belly, softly sighed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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