There is an individuality in thoughts, as well as in voices and faces.
It occurred to Lawrence that the thought waves of this person were the
clearest, the gentlest and the saddest of any he had ever encountered.
There was a clarity about them that was superhuman, that is associated
with genius. And they were filled with a sorrow that transcended all
human understanding. The sorrow of a dying race, of the shattered
dreams of a billion years, the sorrow of the Wandering Jew alone on
another planet and watching his own dissolve into cosmic dust--a sorrow
beyond expression.
He found it dominating his soul, drowning him in a bitterness such as
he had never dreamed possible.
Lawrence explained, "My instruments detected a steady stream of free
gamma rays out in space, such as could only come from a ruptured atomic
power source of some sort, and I flew down to ascertain if there had
been an accident." He raised his voice a trifle over the wail of the
desert wind. "Who are you?"
The brooding thought crept slowly into his mind, infinitely sad,
infinitely weary.
"I am one who saw too far. It is no good for any being to go ahead of
his fellows; to dream a greater dream and to find no reality in it.
I had a machine, and it should have carried me outside, should have
taken me above our lost visions to finer things. It did not. I thought
I would climb to heaven. I descended to hell. How they have reversed
our ancestors' prophecies, these metal masters of ours." His thoughts
washed away in a tide of ultimate despair.
Lawrence's eyes were becoming accustomed to the darkness, and he could
make out the hammock in the corner of the room with the small form upon
it. "You're hurt!"
He came forward, his bewilderment becoming concern. "Here, I'm one of
the few men who still know something of medicine. Space Patrol men have
to know in case the machines break down. Which," he grimaced, "happens
about once in every four hundred years."
"_No!_"
The thought stopped Lawrence on the verge of tearing the threadbare
cover off the figure on the cot and turning on his flash to examine it.
"Please," it came again, more gently, "I am dying. Believe me, there is
nothing you or any other man or machine could do. And I do not care to
live any more now; there is nothing to live for--now or for the rest of
time."
Pieces of what seemed to be a pattern exploded in Lawrence's brain, and
he turned white. Had this man used the disassembler, obtaining it by
bribing some minor member of the little man's crew, and had he visited
that far-off star and found that which doomed mankind's new hopes?
The thought stunned him beyond thinking. That couldn't be true; it
couldn't. This was man's last hope, his last stand, it was unthinkable
that--
He felt within his brain, currents that were at first puzzled and then
cleared.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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