But the saint who enjoyed the greatest fame--partly on account of her
frequent portrayal by the plastic arts--was doubtless St. Teresa
(Teresia de Jesus), a Spanish nun (1515-1582). During childhood and
early youth she suffered from serious illnesses, and on one occasion was
even believed to be dead. "Before I felt the presence of God," she says
in her biography, "I experienced for some time a very delightful
sensation, a sensation which I believe one is partly able to produce at
will (!), a pleasure which is neither quite sensuous, nor quite
spiritual, but which comes from God." She describes in her "Life" four
stages of prayer, which gradually lead the soul to God: "There is no joy
to be compared with the joy which the Lord giveth to the soul in its
exile. So great is this delight that frequently it seems that the least
thing would make it forsake the body for ever." "When the soul seeks God
in this way," the saint feels with supreme delight her strength ebbing
away and a trance stealing over her until, devoid of breath and all
physical strength she can only move her hand with great pain. The
delights experienced by her are described in great detail and very
sensuous language; hysterical conditions, such as painful convulsions,
and hallucinations, are represented as religious phenomena. "It is
dreadful what one has to suffer from confessors who do not understand
these things," she says in one of her writings with deep regret.
St. Teresa relates her life with the well-known long-winded
self-complacency of the hysterical subject. She frequently had visions
of Jesus, and again and again she emphasised the beauty of his hands.
"Standing by my side, he said to me: 'I have come to thee, my daughter,
I am here; it is I; show me thy hands.' And it seemed to me that he took
my hands in his, and laid them in his side. 'Behold my wound,' he said,
'thou art not separated from me; bear this brief exile on earth....'"
etc.
On one occasion she had a vision of an angel whom she describes as
follows: "He was not tall but small, very beautiful, his face so radiant
that he seemed to be one of the highest angels, who are, I believe, all
fire ... in his hand he held a golden spear, at the point of which was a
little flame; he appeared to thrust this spear into my heart again and
again; it penetrated my entrails, and as he drew it out he seemed to
draw them out also, and leave me on fire with a great love of God. The
pain was so intense that I could not but sigh deeply; yet so surpassing
was the sweetness of this pain that it made me wish never to be without
it. It is not physical, but spiritual pain, although the body often
suffers greatly from it. The caressing love between God and the soul is
so sweet that I implore Him of His mercy to let all those experience it
who believe that I am lying."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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