_Bounce._ Call the police. _H_i know you? You're _h_a burglar, _h_a thief! But we're wide _h_awake. You're caught. _Patty._ Yes, Mr. Jack Sheppard, your foot's in the trap. You've lost your coat-tails, but that's nothing to the loss of your liberty: ten years in prison. _Mr. G._ Am I awake? John Bounce, who's your master? _Bounce._ Simon Graylock, _H_esquire, _h_a respectable, middle-_h_aged gent, rather plain _h_in 'is _h_external _h_appearance, but with _h_an 'art _h_as big _h_as an _h_ox. _Patty._ Yes, Mr. Burglar, as nice an old gentleman as you ever met. _Mr. G._ Am not I that gentleman? _Patty._ You! Nonsense! _Bounce._ You! _H_absurd! Why, you look like what you _h_are,—_h_a regular 'ousebreaker. _Mr. G._ I'll break your head if you call me that name again. I am master of this house; and as such I order you instantly to unlock those doors, and call your mistress. _Patty._ What impudence! _Bounce._ _H_and what _h_assurance! _Mr. G._ (_approaching_ PATTY). Young woman, out of my way! _Patty_ (_points broom at him_). Help! murder! thieves! _Bounce_ (_points rifle at him_). 'Ere, you, none er that! Lay _h_a finger _h_on that young woman, _h_and I'll fire. (MR. G. _backs up stage; they follow with their weapons pointed at him_.) _Mr. G._ Confound it! this is ridiculous! Go away. (_Gets up into chair._) _Bounce._ Wretched _h_outcast, would you lift your 'and _h_against _h_a woman? Would you— _Mr. G._ Put down that gun. _Bounce._ Never! You _h_ex_h_asperate the British lion; you _h_insult the _h_object of my 'art's _h_adoration; you—you—you— _Mr. G._ Put down that gun. It might go off. _Bounce._ _H_it might; but you can't.—Patty, _h_i'll put _h_an _h_end to 'is miserable _h_existence. _Patty._ No; leave him to the officer of justice. _Bounce._ _H_i can't. 'E 'as _h_insulted you, _h_and _h_i must 'ave blood, blood, blood! _Mr. G._ Put down that gun! Here, Sue! Susan! Susannah! Help! help! help! (_Knock at door_, L.) _Mrs. G._ (_outside_). Open the door, Patty. (PATTY _unlocks the door_, R. MRS. G., ALICE, _and_ RALPH _enter, stand huddled by the door_.) Have you got him? _Mr. G._ Got him! And she the wife of my bosom! Susy! _Bounce._ Silence! (_Threatens with gun._) _Mr. G._ Susan! _Patty._ Silence! (_Flourishes broom._) _Mr. G._ Susannah! _Mrs. G._ Why, the wretch knows my name! _Mr. G._ Of course he does. 'Tis I, your own true, loving husband, Simon Graylock. _Ralph._ Egad, the rascal has assurance! _Mrs. G._ Did you ever? _Alice._ No, I never. _Mr. G._ (_coming forward_). Oh, come! this is all nonsense, you know. You're not going to cut me off, are you? I am your husband. _Mrs. G._ My husband! Why, he's old enough to be your father.