The Expedition of Humphry ClinkerSmollett, T. (Tobias)
General
The Expedition of Humphry Clinker
Smollett, T. (Tobias)
Epistolary fiction; Great Britain -- Fiction; Travelers -- Fiction
This transaction was like to give a grave cast to the conversation,
when my uncle took notice that Mr Justice Frogmore had not made his
appearance either at the night-alarm, or now at the general rendezvous.
The baronet hearing Frogmore mentioned, ‘Odso! (cried he) I had forgot
the justice.--Pr’ythee, doctor, go and bring him out of his kennel.’
Then laughing till his sides were well shaken, he said he would shew the
captain, that he was not the only person of the drama exhibited for the
entertainment of the company. As to the night-scene, it could not affect
the justice, who had been purposely lodged in the farther end of the
house, remote from the noise, and lulled with a dose of opium into the
bargain. In a few minutes, Mr Justice was led into the parlour in his
nightcap and loose morning-gown, rolling his head from side to side, and
groaning piteously all the way.--‘Jesu! neighbour Frogmore (exclaimed
the baronet), what is the matter?--you look as if you was not a man
for this world.--Set him down softly on the couch--poor gentlemen!--Lord
have mercy upon us!--What makes him so pale, and yellow, and bloated?’
‘Oh, Sir Thomas! (cried the justice) I doubt ‘tis all over with me--
Those mushrooms I eat at your table have done my business--ah! oh!
hey!’ ‘Now the Lord forbid! (said the other)--what! man, have a good
heart--How does thy stomach feel?--hall?’
To this interrogation he made no reply; but throwing aside his
nightgown, discovered that his waist-coat would not meet upon his belly
by five good inches at least. ‘Heaven protect us all! (cried Sir Thomas)
what a melancholy spectacle!--never did I see a man so suddenly swelled,
but when he was either just dead, or just dying.--Doctor, can’st thou
do nothing for this poor object?’ ‘I don’t think the case is quite
desperate (said the surgeon), but I would advise Mr Frogmore to settle
his affairs with all expedition; the parson may come and pray by him,
while I prepare a glyster and an emetic draught.’ The justice, rolling
his languid eyes, ejaculated with great fervency, ‘Lord, have mercy upon
us! Christ, have mercy upon us!’--Then he begged the surgeon, in the
name of God, to dispatch--‘As for my worldly affairs (said he), they
are all settled but one mortgage, which must be left to my heirs--but
my poor soul! my poor soul! what will become of my poor soul? miserable
sinner that I am!’ ‘Nay, pr’ythee, my dear boy, compose thyself (resumed
the knight); consider the mercy of heaven is infinite; thou can’st
not have any sins of a very deep dye on thy conscience, or the devil’s
in’t.’ ‘Name not the devil (exclaimed the terrified Frogmore), I have
more sins to answer for than the world dreams of.--Ah! friend, I have
been sly--sly damn’d sly!--Send for the parson without loss of time, and
put me to bed, for I am posting to eternity.’--He was accordingly raised
from the couch, and supported by two servants, who led him back to his
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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