The Expedition of Humphry ClinkerSmollett, T. (Tobias)
General
The Expedition of Humphry Clinker
Smollett, T. (Tobias)
Epistolary fiction; Great Britain -- Fiction; Travelers -- Fiction
I have much to say of this amiable kinswoman; but she has not been
properly introduced to your acquaintance. She is remarkably civil to
Mr Quin; of whose sarcastic humour she seems to stand in awe; but her
caution is no match for her impertinence. ‘Mr Gwynn (said she the other
day) I was once vastly entertained with your playing the Ghost of Gimlet
at Drury-lane, when you rose up through the stage, with a white face and
red eyes, and spoke of quails upon the frightful porcofine--Do, pray,
spout a little the Ghost of Gimlet.’ ‘Madam (said Quin, with a glance of
ineffable disdain) the Ghost of Gimlet is laid, never to rise again’--
Insensible of this check, she proceeded: ‘Well, to be sure, you looked
and talked so like a real ghost; and then the cock crowed so natural.
I wonder how you could teach him to crow so exact, in the very nick of
time; but, I suppose, he’s game--An’t he game, Mr Gwynn?’ ‘Dunghill,
madam.’--‘Well, dunghill, or not dunghill, he has got such a clear
counter-tenor, that I wish I had such another at Brambleton-hall, to
wake the maids of a morning. Do you know where I could find one of his
brood?’ ‘Probably in the work-house at St Giles’s parish, madam; but I
protest I know not his particular mew!’ My uncle, frying with vexation,
cried, ‘Good God, sister, how you talk! I have told you twenty times,
that this gentleman’s name is not Gwynn.’--‘Hoity toity, brother mine
(she replied) no offence, I hope--Gwynn is an honorable name, of true
old British extraction--I thought the gentleman had been come of Mrs
Helen Gwynn, who was of his own profession; and if so be that were the
case, he might be of king Charles’s breed, and have royal blood in his
veins.’--‘No, madam (answered Quin, with great solemnity) my mother was
not a whore of such distinction--True it is, I am sometimes tempted
to believe myself of royal descent; for my inclinations are often
arbitrary--If I was an absolute prince, at this instant, I believe I
should send for the head of your cook in a charger--She has committed
felony, on the person of that John Dory, which is mangled in a cruel
manner, and even presented without sauce--O tempora! O mores!’
This good-humoured sally turned the conversation into a less
disagreeable channel--But, lest you should think my scribble as tedious
as Mrs Tabby’s clack, I shall not add another word, but that I am as
usual
Yours, J. MELFORD BATH, April 30.
To Dr LEWIS.
DEAR LEWIS,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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